11-26-09
Man, I left my lip gloss at the new house! Gosh my lips are unattractive right now.
Finally got a reception for 92.3 and Wanna Be Startin Something was on. DJ was like much love to families celebrating their first holidays without a loved one. Man, this is total BS! When is this gonna be over already? I'm tired of living with this pain and this is such a gargantuan happening that it will be hard to escape unless you’re on a deserted island….and that ain’t even safe. The grief may hook a ride on the wings of a bird migrating south for the winter and drop right in my lap.
Today is a Red Dragon day.
Holidays, I think, are made for people who have families. Either one of their own or a tradition of spending time together. Being alone without a family of my own ( ain’t tryin’ to have kids, just saying…some of my own peoples/man) or other family members to share it with…is kind of depressing. I wish I worked today. That way I could stay busy. I’ll write more of my book today if we are not moving.
Will & Grace. They are so cute. At least they have love. A gay dude and a straight chick kind of love, but a love nonetheless. Seems that she found her soul mate just not someone she can marry. I wonder if it true that your soul mate may not be your spouse/boyfriend
Monday, November 30, 2009
Possom Farts and Cane's Grandma's wig with a dash of terminally ill packing mules
11-25-09
Where is Robert Townsend? I miss his cute corniness?
Why do people stink? Like, seriously this lady just smelled like rancid spit, a dewy Kentucky morning, and possum fart. Possom fart, damn I had to get my 2 chuckles in on that one. Another lady came in with shades on –in a fluorescent lit building with a flip wig on like Cane’s grandma on Menace II Society.
I would really like a complex boyfriend. Not complex as in difficult for me to hands, but a man with layers. Who can take m from 0 to 60 in 3 seconds, who makes me ponder, who has a story, a struggle, a fire, a passion.
This MF’in bold ass bird keeps jumping on the table top WHILE I’M SITTING HERE! He done jumped over here 3 times. Next he gonna walk on across the table and take my bugle crumbs.
What an eventful day. (This passage has been omitted for privacy/security purposes) I operate from a place of integrity so….so be it.
Homeless man smelled like a terminally ill packing mule from 10 ft away. Crossing the street and smelled weed where there was no people or cars. Saw a mouse on the steps of the LA Mall. And I ain’t talking about a house mouse. That thing was the size of two gerbils. Rounded the corner and saw a cockroach. Wait, I don’t see it. Where did it go? Can’t be blending in with these leaves. Jesus Be A Fence.
Where is Robert Townsend? I miss his cute corniness?
Why do people stink? Like, seriously this lady just smelled like rancid spit, a dewy Kentucky morning, and possum fart. Possom fart, damn I had to get my 2 chuckles in on that one. Another lady came in with shades on –in a fluorescent lit building with a flip wig on like Cane’s grandma on Menace II Society.
I would really like a complex boyfriend. Not complex as in difficult for me to hands, but a man with layers. Who can take m from 0 to 60 in 3 seconds, who makes me ponder, who has a story, a struggle, a fire, a passion.
This MF’in bold ass bird keeps jumping on the table top WHILE I’M SITTING HERE! He done jumped over here 3 times. Next he gonna walk on across the table and take my bugle crumbs.
What an eventful day. (This passage has been omitted for privacy/security purposes) I operate from a place of integrity so….so be it.
Homeless man smelled like a terminally ill packing mule from 10 ft away. Crossing the street and smelled weed where there was no people or cars. Saw a mouse on the steps of the LA Mall. And I ain’t talking about a house mouse. That thing was the size of two gerbils. Rounded the corner and saw a cockroach. Wait, I don’t see it. Where did it go? Can’t be blending in with these leaves. Jesus Be A Fence.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Nov 23rd-How?
How do you find the answers? I'm sure there is a solution, but how do you go about getting there? What is the order of operation?
Something that absolutely infuriates me...people who are always on facebook. Asking questions and having people weigh in on their life's decisions. Its like...do you do anything else with yourself? I don't mind an update or 3 during the day if something kewl happens, but menial shit just bothers me.
Something that absolutely infuriates me...people who are always on facebook. Asking questions and having people weigh in on their life's decisions. Its like...do you do anything else with yourself? I don't mind an update or 3 during the day if something kewl happens, but menial shit just bothers me.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
I really don't get music these days
I am just perplexed at how meaningless and devoid of any kind of emotion it all is.
this moment feels like...
a lie naked in the shower and sob until I'm in damn near involuntary body spasms moment:(
Nov 22-Death
I hurt. I hurt so deeply, so profoundly that the cells within my body vibrate. Why did you have to go?
God, why do people have to die? Are other organisms aware of their mortality? Maybe it would be easier if we were clueless to it.
God, why do people have to die? Are other organisms aware of their mortality? Maybe it would be easier if we were clueless to it.
Nov 21st-Little Walter can get it!
Nightlife in Downtown LA ain't all that bad. Had a great time at Seven Lounge. There were a lot of short guys and models. I like the feel of the city. I miss city living. Makes me want to visit New York again.
Cried as I prayed last night/this morning I was just telling God how grateful I am to him/her for bringing Mike into my life. This love...what could it be other than an act of God.
Good News! I found my shank!
I hate when people are talking to you and belch and you don't notice it because you're talking back and all of a sudden I taste/smell the damn meat ridden burp.
LL has such a sexy laugh on Doin' It. I bet he has cheated on his wife a couple of 2-3 times.
OMG! So many of Mike's songs are about sex?! How can I learn to write about things I have never experienced?
I can't escape it. I just keeps hitting me in the face. I don't know how I am to deal with this when it hurts so bad.
Saw Cadillac Records tonight. That movie was good. It stays with you; haunts . Little Walter was very attractive to me. In multiple ways. I just cannot believe Columbus Short played Little Walter on Cadillac Records. DAMN! Clearly the country ass harmonica player with a gold, who carries a gun and will shoot a ni**a over his name and take the doors off the car cause its hot kinda of dude is my type. I never thought that dude was cute til I saw that movie. Maybe he is only cute in that movie.
Cried as I prayed last night/this morning I was just telling God how grateful I am to him/her for bringing Mike into my life. This love...what could it be other than an act of God.
Good News! I found my shank!
I hate when people are talking to you and belch and you don't notice it because you're talking back and all of a sudden I taste/smell the damn meat ridden burp.
LL has such a sexy laugh on Doin' It. I bet he has cheated on his wife a couple of 2-3 times.
OMG! So many of Mike's songs are about sex?! How can I learn to write about things I have never experienced?
I can't escape it. I just keeps hitting me in the face. I don't know how I am to deal with this when it hurts so bad.
Saw Cadillac Records tonight. That movie was good. It stays with you; haunts . Little Walter was very attractive to me. In multiple ways. I just cannot believe Columbus Short played Little Walter on Cadillac Records. DAMN! Clearly the country ass harmonica player with a gold, who carries a gun and will shoot a ni**a over his name and take the doors off the car cause its hot kinda of dude is my type. I never thought that dude was cute til I saw that movie. Maybe he is only cute in that movie.
Nov 20th- Adidias, good riddance to the evil one, and glad to be a bastard
Man, I need to buy tennis shoes more often. Got on my new $20.25 Adidas and I am just floating. I mean my gait is just fast and springy. I feel like busting out like John Travolta. Something else I remember from conversing with the 3 white ladies after the 3rd time of THIS IS IT. One of them was like His hands are so big! It's funny to me that people didn't realize his hands are big. His hands have always been huge. Maybe them being lighter now makes them stand out more. I dunno.
I forgot my apples for my ritual breakfast peanut butter and apples. Damn it all to hell! Ooh, and I am just realizing ( maybe I knew this and just forgot)how sexual in nature the lyrics of KEEP IT IN THE CLOSET are. I am like wet it, taste it, cleave it...WHAT?
Lust...have I ever lusted after someone? Maybe, but ...yea...maybe.
OOh, another Mike song that comes to mind is one I don't know the name of. It goes something like he wanna push it in, push it out???? he wanna wrap his arms all around you girl. Mother Mary mercy me love ain't what it used to be.
People are all like...that's boy's father committed suicide, can you believe it. I am like SO! Good riddance! I really don't give a fuck abut him dead, alive, or in purgatory. Another instance of having a fucked up father. Glad I don't have one.
I forgot my apples for my ritual breakfast peanut butter and apples. Damn it all to hell! Ooh, and I am just realizing ( maybe I knew this and just forgot)how sexual in nature the lyrics of KEEP IT IN THE CLOSET are. I am like wet it, taste it, cleave it...WHAT?
Lust...have I ever lusted after someone? Maybe, but ...yea...maybe.
OOh, another Mike song that comes to mind is one I don't know the name of. It goes something like he wanna push it in, push it out???? he wanna wrap his arms all around you girl. Mother Mary mercy me love ain't what it used to be.
People are all like...that's boy's father committed suicide, can you believe it. I am like SO! Good riddance! I really don't give a fuck abut him dead, alive, or in purgatory. Another instance of having a fucked up father. Glad I don't have one.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Quote of the Day:11-19-09
"My body is but a vessel for my most potent treasure...my mind."
~Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol
~Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol
He's always in my heart and frequently in my mind
I see his eyes again. The most beautiful eyes God ever created. Pensive, gentle, and warm.
November 19th: People be forgetting that I Am Monica
Saw the 5 Heartbeats this weekend, well some of it. Leon is real masculinely delicious. Do they make men like that anymore? I remember that one movie he was in where he was freaking a ghost, but it looked like he was just humping air. The dude who played Dresser was RIGHT ON TIME! I don't do light skinned, but I do Dresser; with that raspy voice. Talk dirty to me daddy.
Ooh, I saw Darryl Phinnesse's name in the credits to the 5 Heartbeats waaaayy at the end, but I didn't catch what it was for. Reading credits is so much fun.
Something about the melody of Mr. and Mrs. Little Ones reminds me of Before You Walk Out Of My Life by Monica. I had forgot all about that song until now.
Is Willie Nelson country or rock or both?
Just thinking and going on what I saw on THIS IS IT; that dude is so my elder. Sometimes you get stuck in that place of surreal fantasy and forget what really is. His demeanor was all like (in Cartman voice) RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY...with love.
Why is there going to be a sequel to the Alvin & The Chipmunks movie? Who in the hell saw the first one?
Listening to Rocket Love. Sometimes when I am listening to music and i feel it I make faces. I cal lit the secular music holy ghost, but the faces are more like the song just tasered me.
It's a gift to be able to amuse yourself. I walked out of the bathroom stall like I was on the catwalk or in a pop music video. I WAS FIERCE! Just a throwing my hair and showing my diva swag. There's always a music in my head. I was getting in touch with my inner Janet at the time.
I should become an actress who is well known for lip syncing in music movies. Kinda how Leon can't play nothing, but singers very well. I could use my music holy ghost/terets for good and not evil.
Ooh, I saw Darryl Phinnesse's name in the credits to the 5 Heartbeats waaaayy at the end, but I didn't catch what it was for. Reading credits is so much fun.
Something about the melody of Mr. and Mrs. Little Ones reminds me of Before You Walk Out Of My Life by Monica. I had forgot all about that song until now.
Is Willie Nelson country or rock or both?
Just thinking and going on what I saw on THIS IS IT; that dude is so my elder. Sometimes you get stuck in that place of surreal fantasy and forget what really is. His demeanor was all like (in Cartman voice) RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY...with love.
Why is there going to be a sequel to the Alvin & The Chipmunks movie? Who in the hell saw the first one?
Listening to Rocket Love. Sometimes when I am listening to music and i feel it I make faces. I cal lit the secular music holy ghost, but the faces are more like the song just tasered me.
It's a gift to be able to amuse yourself. I walked out of the bathroom stall like I was on the catwalk or in a pop music video. I WAS FIERCE! Just a throwing my hair and showing my diva swag. There's always a music in my head. I was getting in touch with my inner Janet at the time.
I should become an actress who is well known for lip syncing in music movies. Kinda how Leon can't play nothing, but singers very well. I could use my music holy ghost/terets for good and not evil.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I'm afraid I'm going to start listening to Donny Hathaway
which is the absolute wrong mood of music for me to listen to in my state.
Being Human Is Hard
It really is and those who don't recognize that are in the dark. Not aware of self, not aware of this world. With much struggle comes transformation. But for this transformation to take place you have to be lost for a while. And that is where I am now. Lost, confused, emotionally out of wack. Trying really hard to find something to fight for. Something to hold on to. It's weird, how you recognize how discombobulated you are without your glue. Michael, that's you:(
Today's voice lesson went well
In My Life is a beautiful song and I felt really good about my ability to deliver it with Monica's flare. Making a song your own, but adhering to the original composition is not as hard as I once thought. Next on the list...At Last. Donna Deussen is awesome. Such a beautiful voice! Thank you.
Thanks to those
who love me, believe in me, and encourage me. Even when I don't love, believe in, or encourage myself.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Why cant I stop listening to GO HOME by Stevie Wonder?
Why cant I stop listening to GO HOME by Stevie Wonder? Maybe I'll tackle it in my voice lessons. Need to get the correct CD's though. My ass bought CD-RW's and they won't play in my car.
Sometimes when I'm walking down Temple...
on my way to work the sun is shining directly in front of me and I close my eyes, tilt my head up, and smile. It feels so good to have that warmth on my skin. I can't keep my eyes closed for more than a couple of seconds though. I don't want to walk into anything.
Iy saddens me to see the same homeless man on the same corner every morning. I left work late last night and I saw the same homeless man standing at the same corner, about to cross the street. Reminds me that we all have routines. As his world rotates, so do we in out daily rituals of whatever.
My sweater is catching hella eyes today. A man came to my window and smiled and said nice cute/nice sweater; He didn't even look gay.
Iy saddens me to see the same homeless man on the same corner every morning. I left work late last night and I saw the same homeless man standing at the same corner, about to cross the street. Reminds me that we all have routines. As his world rotates, so do we in out daily rituals of whatever.
My sweater is catching hella eyes today. A man came to my window and smiled and said nice cute/nice sweater; He didn't even look gay.
I'm also in a saliva spitting rage over...
I saw on TV that according to the too damn young baby momma of Killa Conrad that they were on the phone for like 5 minutes and then something got his attention or something and she said this bastard said "MJ is dying." Why do you assume the worst right off the bat. What happened to AWW SHIT SOMETHING'S WRONG LET ME CALL YOU BACK! You go straight to mort?
Also, saw on TV he had to close in practice and move away from Vegas because of death threats. Tough titty. Lord willing you will never get a good nights sleep again until you are DEAD! Shout out the death threat people!
Also, saw on TV he had to close in practice and move away from Vegas because of death threats. Tough titty. Lord willing you will never get a good nights sleep again until you are DEAD! Shout out the death threat people!
Tohme Tohme Dude is going to hell
So I read some days back that some used to be advisor of Mike's is suing the estate for owed something or another then I go see THIS IS IT on Saturday and this N*gga is in the credits. Forreal! You in the credits of a posthumous movie and you suing. That means yo ass put the suit in after the fact. You going to hell. Never trust a man with the same name twice.
Monday, November 16, 2009
11-16-09: I need a Buddy, Biggie Shorty, and Go Home by Stevie Wonder
11-16-09
I keep thinking about that slow motion wit it…that move was just so smooth and unlike was he usually does. Damn near sexual. Today…Chaka is back!
Watched Bootsy Collins’ and Klymaxx’s UnSung. Bootsy never got them teeth fixed, but he wasn’t too bad looking once he tapped into his inner Jimmy Hendrix. Klymaxx had an interesting story. That Bernadette chick looks like she has some kind of deformity at the face. I totally forgot about the SEXY song. I need to find it. The all female band of Black…wait there was a white chick in there that I didn’t even know existed…chicks sounds cool. The bass guitar seems cool to me right now. Joyce Irby is my favorite. I think it’s the eye-itis.
Dancing…it feels so good. I remember this dude from the Stevie Wonder party. He was just so free. Chile, he should be in a band or something. To see him get down like that just makes me smile.
OK, Go Home by Stevie Wonder is THE CUT! The cover art for Musiquarium looks like Rudy’s fish sweater from that episode of The Cosby Show. The beat to Go Home is similar to Ghostbusters and Mike’s Streetwalker.
I’m not sure if I can do music alone. I need a music buddy like one would need a work out buddy.
I felt like Biggie Shorty tonight…dancing on the corner to You Haven’t Done Nothing by Stevie Wonder…waiting for the bus.
I keep thinking about that slow motion wit it…that move was just so smooth and unlike was he usually does. Damn near sexual. Today…Chaka is back!
Watched Bootsy Collins’ and Klymaxx’s UnSung. Bootsy never got them teeth fixed, but he wasn’t too bad looking once he tapped into his inner Jimmy Hendrix. Klymaxx had an interesting story. That Bernadette chick looks like she has some kind of deformity at the face. I totally forgot about the SEXY song. I need to find it. The all female band of Black…wait there was a white chick in there that I didn’t even know existed…chicks sounds cool. The bass guitar seems cool to me right now. Joyce Irby is my favorite. I think it’s the eye-itis.
Dancing…it feels so good. I remember this dude from the Stevie Wonder party. He was just so free. Chile, he should be in a band or something. To see him get down like that just makes me smile.
OK, Go Home by Stevie Wonder is THE CUT! The cover art for Musiquarium looks like Rudy’s fish sweater from that episode of The Cosby Show. The beat to Go Home is similar to Ghostbusters and Mike’s Streetwalker.
I’m not sure if I can do music alone. I need a music buddy like one would need a work out buddy.
I felt like Biggie Shorty tonight…dancing on the corner to You Haven’t Done Nothing by Stevie Wonder…waiting for the bus.
Deep Thouhgt of 11-15-09
Also tonight I though deeply I want Earth Song to play at my wake. That piano is moving, chilling. I’m gonna be cremated though.
I saw THIS IS IT again
I saw THIS IS IT again. I like the part where he fences and there is a giggle at the very end on the MJJ walk and toes magical moment with the whoooo. I love him so much. There were only like 8 people in the theatre, but I partied. When I got back to B&B Works two ladies in front of me were talking about the movie. They had just been in the theatre with me. It felt so good to hear one of them saying that she was crying. I was fighting back tears too. The part with the last dancer saying life is hard…and THIS IS IT get me. Also the story intro telling how the movie came to be. It is like…for his personal library and original footage for the concerts…
THIS IS IT
Three other ladies stayed in the theatre until the very end. We ended up talking a bit. It felt good to talk to someone about it. She didn’t know about the patented foot mechanism for Smooth Criminal. I still trip over that spider, the bulldozer, and the chase pyrotechnics.
I KNEW IT! The Planet Earth Poem was published in his book of poems and reflections: Dancing the Dream. II knew those words sounded so familiar. Now I haven’t read this book in over 3 years. This is such a weird memory. Why do I remember those words and I probably only read the book once.
THIS IS IT
Three other ladies stayed in the theatre until the very end. We ended up talking a bit. It felt good to talk to someone about it. She didn’t know about the patented foot mechanism for Smooth Criminal. I still trip over that spider, the bulldozer, and the chase pyrotechnics.
I KNEW IT! The Planet Earth Poem was published in his book of poems and reflections: Dancing the Dream. II knew those words sounded so familiar. Now I haven’t read this book in over 3 years. This is such a weird memory. Why do I remember those words and I probably only read the book once.
The Stevie Wonder party...
The Stevie Wonder party was GREAT! Thanks Darren for encouraging me to go. They played I Can’t Help It, but a little remixed and upbeat. I got through it pretty well. That is the song that I have not been able to listen to since…
Heard Stevie’s version of Until You Come Back To Me. Didn’t know he wrote Let’s Get Serious by Jermaine. The version they played just sounded funkier than the version I’ve heard on TV…or maybe I hadn’t heard the funky part before. I think I saw Affion Crocket. Looks thicker and more solid in real life. He’s funny. I look forward to his future projects. Apparently Stevie is a boon for me dancing with glee. I was just-a happy dancing and getting my get down on. It felt so good! The Vanguard is right next door the LA Free Clinic where Nike used to work. Never knew that.
Heard Stevie’s version of Until You Come Back To Me. Didn’t know he wrote Let’s Get Serious by Jermaine. The version they played just sounded funkier than the version I’ve heard on TV…or maybe I hadn’t heard the funky part before. I think I saw Affion Crocket. Looks thicker and more solid in real life. He’s funny. I look forward to his future projects. Apparently Stevie is a boon for me dancing with glee. I was just-a happy dancing and getting my get down on. It felt so good! The Vanguard is right next door the LA Free Clinic where Nike used to work. Never knew that.
interesting black people on the streets of Downtown LA
11-13-09
You see the most interesting black people when you get off work an hour early…Homeless Savion Glover whose right shoe is at a perpendicular angle. The Funky Righteous Brothers of Barbados. Ice T’s little cousin with the banana bike with rusty brakes. Bohemian brother who is too conscious to care that he has on a dashiki, denim shorts, and slide in square toe dress shoes, busted heels, and s straw/twine anklet on his left ankle. His dred were nice though It feels weird to be at the bus stop in the daylight.
You see the most interesting black people when you get off work an hour early…Homeless Savion Glover whose right shoe is at a perpendicular angle. The Funky Righteous Brothers of Barbados. Ice T’s little cousin with the banana bike with rusty brakes. Bohemian brother who is too conscious to care that he has on a dashiki, denim shorts, and slide in square toe dress shoes, busted heels, and s straw/twine anklet on his left ankle. His dred were nice though It feels weird to be at the bus stop in the daylight.
I DO I DO I DO BELIEVE IN YOU!
I hope this Stevie Wonder party is fun. I have to find a way to be trendy, yet not dressed up. My feet are not cooperating. Today I said something important. I was speaking with a co-worker and prefaced my return of the Rabbi book with “because of my deep belief in Michael Jackson.” I said it. I BELIEVE in him. Believing the magic is believing in him. His soul sis magic. It is love.
The Jacksons song from the Destiny album that sounds like THIS IS IT/Never Heard is Bless His Soul. It’s that little Tito sounding guitar peck!!!
I love the little noises he makes between words. They make me jump or twitch.
The Jacksons song from the Destiny album that sounds like THIS IS IT/Never Heard is Bless His Soul. It’s that little Tito sounding guitar peck!!!
I love the little noises he makes between words. They make me jump or twitch.
11-12-09: My Michael Jai White Dream
11-12-09
Oh hell yeah! I had a dream that me and Michael Jai White were a couple. I’m not sure if we were on the up and up, but we were able to be comfy goofballs together. We just laid/sat on the bed and watched TV. At some point he was asleep. I was in the bathroom doing something. Probably wrestling with this tangled ass weave and he peeks in …all in his boxers…and is like “hey, come in here with me”…he grabs my butt then my hand and leads me into the room to watch something that feels like the evening news. Pheromones, hormones, and all kinds of other –MONES are oozing and saturating the atmosphere. How can they not. He’s Michael Jai White! I think I had on my gray inauguration t-shirt and some raggedy of white short. (sigh) companionship. I wonder what his wife looks like. I miss full-chested, strong, manly hugs.
Yesterday was such a good day. I sat around in my night clothes al day. Washed, ate, watched TV, and updated the blog. Made actions in regard to my future. Wish I had more days like this. I didn’t even leave the house and only got bothered one time. A very peaceful day. Reminds me of lazy Sundays back in KC when I used to have my own place.
A lot of Mike music has been in my head today. Destiny to invincible.
Saw this fine ass Kevin un the waiting room. He had long hair and Jonathan Randall from Guiding Light swag. A tall Asian too!
I hate I will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. I don’t see what’s so great about the damn song. The last two episodes of South Park haven’t’ been all that interesting.
Oh hell yeah! I had a dream that me and Michael Jai White were a couple. I’m not sure if we were on the up and up, but we were able to be comfy goofballs together. We just laid/sat on the bed and watched TV. At some point he was asleep. I was in the bathroom doing something. Probably wrestling with this tangled ass weave and he peeks in …all in his boxers…and is like “hey, come in here with me”…he grabs my butt then my hand and leads me into the room to watch something that feels like the evening news. Pheromones, hormones, and all kinds of other –MONES are oozing and saturating the atmosphere. How can they not. He’s Michael Jai White! I think I had on my gray inauguration t-shirt and some raggedy of white short. (sigh) companionship. I wonder what his wife looks like. I miss full-chested, strong, manly hugs.
Yesterday was such a good day. I sat around in my night clothes al day. Washed, ate, watched TV, and updated the blog. Made actions in regard to my future. Wish I had more days like this. I didn’t even leave the house and only got bothered one time. A very peaceful day. Reminds me of lazy Sundays back in KC when I used to have my own place.
A lot of Mike music has been in my head today. Destiny to invincible.
Saw this fine ass Kevin un the waiting room. He had long hair and Jonathan Randall from Guiding Light swag. A tall Asian too!
I hate I will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. I don’t see what’s so great about the damn song. The last two episodes of South Park haven’t’ been all that interesting.
TV Guide Channel- Hell or TV?
You’re right white blonde chick from the TV Guide Channel. I totally agree…I too am afraid that if I watch the Jacksons reality show I’ll be less likely to get into heaven.
11-10-09: Boyz II Men, Concerts, and Beautiful days in the neighborhood
11-10-09
Boyz II Men has been on my mind. I am just in awe of how good they are. Chicken and Eggs! Chicken and Eggs! Shawn is my favorite. I don’t see them all that sexual though. They did a pelvic pop and I turned my lip up like Lucy. Nice looking men though. A morning in retrospect: How many concerts have I been to this year?
Patti LaBelle, Amel Larrieux, Bilal, Chaka Khan, Boyz II Men. I feel that there are more…can’t count the memorial. I have been down to LA Live 50-11 times this year. Boyz II Men were the last great act to come out of Motown. Music just ain’t what it used to be.
Today is such a beautiful day in LA. When I woke up from my nap on the bus this morning I saw a golden morning. The hills of Glendale were beautiful. Funny memory: On an episode of Everybody Hates Chris Tanya argued Chris and Drew down that Billie Ocean did the Moonwalk and NOT Michael Jackson. I’m a good 2 weeks late on reporting this, but when I went to see THIS IS IT at Universal the New Power Generation dude was out three dancing and singing again AND this time I saw Kenny B…the low budget Kenny G.
Boyz II Men has been on my mind. I am just in awe of how good they are. Chicken and Eggs! Chicken and Eggs! Shawn is my favorite. I don’t see them all that sexual though. They did a pelvic pop and I turned my lip up like Lucy. Nice looking men though. A morning in retrospect: How many concerts have I been to this year?
Patti LaBelle, Amel Larrieux, Bilal, Chaka Khan, Boyz II Men. I feel that there are more…can’t count the memorial. I have been down to LA Live 50-11 times this year. Boyz II Men were the last great act to come out of Motown. Music just ain’t what it used to be.
Today is such a beautiful day in LA. When I woke up from my nap on the bus this morning I saw a golden morning. The hills of Glendale were beautiful. Funny memory: On an episode of Everybody Hates Chris Tanya argued Chris and Drew down that Billie Ocean did the Moonwalk and NOT Michael Jackson. I’m a good 2 weeks late on reporting this, but when I went to see THIS IS IT at Universal the New Power Generation dude was out three dancing and singing again AND this time I saw Kenny B…the low budget Kenny G.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
‘Google’ is not a synonym or ‘research’
11-9-09
I don’t like this new Ledisi song. It sounds like every other R&B grown folks song. The lyrics are eve a bore. I think people have run out of ways to sing about sex. This sounds like a song that could have bee wrote by R. Kelly.
Ok, so I overheard a co-worker talking about THIS IS IT. She said she didn’t like it and she especially didn’t like the black and white part because he looked like The Joker. I was rolling because I feel the same way. That wasn’t an aesthetically pleasing face and to boot it was on a big ass screen. He looked sleepy at the eyes. They were veiled and that grin/smirk was wide. No life in the eyes. Like it was a mechanical face or something. Things just didn’t really match. I know that that would not have been the final version. If I didn’t like it, I know he wasn’t 100& happy with it.
Why is Frankie Beverly always here? I saw a dude in Burbank with a high top fade. And he had a pick in the back. The children of this day…tragic.
New idea for next year’s Halloween costume: Punky Brewster!
Why does Monica have a that electronic/T-Pain sound on her voice on that song she has with Keisha Cole? She doesn’t need that crap! She has such a nice voice…but I pigeonholed by the ghetto R&B anomaly.
Quote of the day: “ ‘Google’ is not a synonym or ‘research’”
~ Dr. Langdon in Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol
I don’t like this new Ledisi song. It sounds like every other R&B grown folks song. The lyrics are eve a bore. I think people have run out of ways to sing about sex. This sounds like a song that could have bee wrote by R. Kelly.
Ok, so I overheard a co-worker talking about THIS IS IT. She said she didn’t like it and she especially didn’t like the black and white part because he looked like The Joker. I was rolling because I feel the same way. That wasn’t an aesthetically pleasing face and to boot it was on a big ass screen. He looked sleepy at the eyes. They were veiled and that grin/smirk was wide. No life in the eyes. Like it was a mechanical face or something. Things just didn’t really match. I know that that would not have been the final version. If I didn’t like it, I know he wasn’t 100& happy with it.
Why is Frankie Beverly always here? I saw a dude in Burbank with a high top fade. And he had a pick in the back. The children of this day…tragic.
New idea for next year’s Halloween costume: Punky Brewster!
Why does Monica have a that electronic/T-Pain sound on her voice on that song she has with Keisha Cole? She doesn’t need that crap! She has such a nice voice…but I pigeonholed by the ghetto R&B anomaly.
Quote of the day: “ ‘Google’ is not a synonym or ‘research’”
~ Dr. Langdon in Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol
Boyz II Men
OMG, I was absolutely mesmerized. I had been wanting to see them since 1995's Budweiser Fest. The impeccable dress, personality, passion, energy, vocal stylings. I was absolutely blown away. I found myself making ugly faces they were so GREAT! It was damn near the secular music Holy Ghost. I feel so blessed to have been witness to such awesomeness. Such good music. Such real music. God bless you Nate, Wan, and Shawn.
November 7 2009: “…you can’t hurt me. I’ve found peace within my life…”
November 7 2009
Teena Marie and Prince would make an interesting musical team. They could make something funkily magical.
Kinda mad I ain’t gonna be able to go see En Vogue tomorrow. I wish I hadn’t forgot about it until yesterday. Too late to find someone to go with me. Harkening back to the shit I heard about Joe last night. I am so mad. It just sucks that this is happening. I am confident the judge will uphold the not-a-will thingy. You got 8 other kids. Ask they ass for something. I mean, it was to be expected. Not out of his character. Man, this makes me glad I don’t have a father. People just ain’t right. Why is it that the evilest of people love long. God, can you give us Mike back and banish Joe to hell instead?
Just remembered I had a dream that was gross, traumatizing, and confusing all in one flash of WTF.
Ooh baby you want me. Ooh baby you want me. Ooh baby you want me. Well you can get this lap dance here for free.
~ lap dance by N.E.R.D.
Who raps the recorded verse on Black or White?
My favorite word that Mike sings is GIRL. The way he pronounces it is jus so complete. There’s something more to it. I thin it’s because he doesn’t put a lot of emphasis on the R. He rounds it out. He sings it with his whole mouth, not just his lips. Anyone understand that? When he sings GIRL I think back to the Suzuki commercial. BWINK!
My yawn just tasted like the smoke from a burned out sparkler.
OMG, Shakeabadadown is the best song ever made in the history of the universe!
What is the name of that Steve Wonder song that plays sometime during The Last Dragon?
Yo, was reading this blog and the blogger pointed out the similarity between the artwork for Mahogany and THIS IS IT. Humh! Humh indeed.
Never really noticed the singing in front of the fan effect on Mike’s vocal son JAM.
Quote of the day:
“…you can’t hurt me. I’ve found peace within my life…”
~ Michael Jackson JAM
Where is Missy Elliott? She was so awesome to me on Supa Dupa Fly. She just came with all the junk from far left field. Then she went straight 80’s and lost her edge. I’m excited to see what she’ll bring us next. She always creates great visuals.
“Sometime I cry cause I’m confused. Is that a fact of being used.”
~Bless His Soul by The Jacksons
Sucks they are still trying to use you…30 something years later.
Teena Marie and Prince would make an interesting musical team. They could make something funkily magical.
Kinda mad I ain’t gonna be able to go see En Vogue tomorrow. I wish I hadn’t forgot about it until yesterday. Too late to find someone to go with me. Harkening back to the shit I heard about Joe last night. I am so mad. It just sucks that this is happening. I am confident the judge will uphold the not-a-will thingy. You got 8 other kids. Ask they ass for something. I mean, it was to be expected. Not out of his character. Man, this makes me glad I don’t have a father. People just ain’t right. Why is it that the evilest of people love long. God, can you give us Mike back and banish Joe to hell instead?
Just remembered I had a dream that was gross, traumatizing, and confusing all in one flash of WTF.
Ooh baby you want me. Ooh baby you want me. Ooh baby you want me. Well you can get this lap dance here for free.
~ lap dance by N.E.R.D.
Who raps the recorded verse on Black or White?
My favorite word that Mike sings is GIRL. The way he pronounces it is jus so complete. There’s something more to it. I thin it’s because he doesn’t put a lot of emphasis on the R. He rounds it out. He sings it with his whole mouth, not just his lips. Anyone understand that? When he sings GIRL I think back to the Suzuki commercial. BWINK!
My yawn just tasted like the smoke from a burned out sparkler.
OMG, Shakeabadadown is the best song ever made in the history of the universe!
What is the name of that Steve Wonder song that plays sometime during The Last Dragon?
Yo, was reading this blog and the blogger pointed out the similarity between the artwork for Mahogany and THIS IS IT. Humh! Humh indeed.
Never really noticed the singing in front of the fan effect on Mike’s vocal son JAM.
Quote of the day:
“…you can’t hurt me. I’ve found peace within my life…”
~ Michael Jackson JAM
Where is Missy Elliott? She was so awesome to me on Supa Dupa Fly. She just came with all the junk from far left field. Then she went straight 80’s and lost her edge. I’m excited to see what she’ll bring us next. She always creates great visuals.
“Sometime I cry cause I’m confused. Is that a fact of being used.”
~Bless His Soul by The Jacksons
Sucks they are still trying to use you…30 something years later.
The October Chronicles Part VII: Technically 10-29-09
Technically 10-29-09
Why does Anderson Cooper look the way he does? I am starting to accept the fact that I may not be able to get back into TV. And with the state of news; looking from the outside in: is it something I agree with? The direction of television news is going in--does it align with who I am and what I want to achieve in life?
You know what’s noticeable at the Memphis airport…the lack of colored people. Ooh remembered something else from THIS IS IT. Mike was talking about the state of the U.S./World and he said…we have 4 years to get it right. Humh, was he referring to Obama?
Sooo, its 8:58am. Memphis, TN and my flight got cancelled. I don’t fly out to KC until 2:30pm. 6 hours in Memphis looking stupid without a book to read. All I can do now is write a book. Damn! I lost a whole day in KC.
A good 2 people are taking swine flue super seriously. A dude on my flight had on a mask and a lady getting off another flight had on one too.
I think I just saw this fat dude looking at me while I was eating.
You ever get different service from black people because you’re black? I promise you black waitress is more jovial with the fuckin’ white lady. Weird Dream At The Airport (wrote that with my left hand and trying to illustrate the oddness via the computer) I was married to Maxwell. Well then it became the middle Eastern equivalent of Maxwell. We are walking down some big city street in like New York. We seem to be on out way from work walking hand in hand and really engaging each other. We cross a street and Tavis Smiley/Judge Mathis is out there shooting something. So Maxwell and him holler at each other. He leads me to the goldline subway. He is very touchy feely and tells me I have a big cookie pie, but he uses other words. Then we are getting on some small airplane instead of the train. Ain’t enough room for everyone. Taryn and Tashi are on it too. There’s some white people in the back compartment and the white husband makes a racist remark about my husband when he comes out of the back and see’s a colored person. For some reason I was in the backroom and came out to read him the riot act. I was fully aware of the fact that this could emasculate Maxwell (who is no longer the middle eastern version). So I’m reading this dude up and down showing my education by using big words and not going ghetto girl on him. Then for some reason he is not in front of me anymore. I am talking to him through a phone which is really a piece of Danish. He hung up on me. Then everyone is back on the plane, seated with all baggage put away.
Hey! America’s best Dance Crew is at the airport!...just kidding, but there are like 3 little Asian dudes.
I am still tickled by Mike doing that pelvis thrust in slow motion on Billie Jean. You need to see the face he makes. It’s like an “aooowww” feels good face. I mean he was slow winding it! Hey HLN just said THIS IS TI has made 7 million so far. GO MICHAEL! WHOOOO! You know… I haven’t seen one person at the airport reppin’ Mike in the 6 hrs I’ve been here. Guess that’s a good thing about LA. Hey, that makes cool thing about LA #5…people show their love for Mike. Yo, they transition out of Thriller with Threatened. Man that song hits so hard!
Why does Anderson Cooper look the way he does? I am starting to accept the fact that I may not be able to get back into TV. And with the state of news; looking from the outside in: is it something I agree with? The direction of television news is going in--does it align with who I am and what I want to achieve in life?
You know what’s noticeable at the Memphis airport…the lack of colored people. Ooh remembered something else from THIS IS IT. Mike was talking about the state of the U.S./World and he said…we have 4 years to get it right. Humh, was he referring to Obama?
Sooo, its 8:58am. Memphis, TN and my flight got cancelled. I don’t fly out to KC until 2:30pm. 6 hours in Memphis looking stupid without a book to read. All I can do now is write a book. Damn! I lost a whole day in KC.
A good 2 people are taking swine flue super seriously. A dude on my flight had on a mask and a lady getting off another flight had on one too.
I think I just saw this fat dude looking at me while I was eating.
You ever get different service from black people because you’re black? I promise you black waitress is more jovial with the fuckin’ white lady. Weird Dream At The Airport (wrote that with my left hand and trying to illustrate the oddness via the computer) I was married to Maxwell. Well then it became the middle Eastern equivalent of Maxwell. We are walking down some big city street in like New York. We seem to be on out way from work walking hand in hand and really engaging each other. We cross a street and Tavis Smiley/Judge Mathis is out there shooting something. So Maxwell and him holler at each other. He leads me to the goldline subway. He is very touchy feely and tells me I have a big cookie pie, but he uses other words. Then we are getting on some small airplane instead of the train. Ain’t enough room for everyone. Taryn and Tashi are on it too. There’s some white people in the back compartment and the white husband makes a racist remark about my husband when he comes out of the back and see’s a colored person. For some reason I was in the backroom and came out to read him the riot act. I was fully aware of the fact that this could emasculate Maxwell (who is no longer the middle eastern version). So I’m reading this dude up and down showing my education by using big words and not going ghetto girl on him. Then for some reason he is not in front of me anymore. I am talking to him through a phone which is really a piece of Danish. He hung up on me. Then everyone is back on the plane, seated with all baggage put away.
Hey! America’s best Dance Crew is at the airport!...just kidding, but there are like 3 little Asian dudes.
I am still tickled by Mike doing that pelvis thrust in slow motion on Billie Jean. You need to see the face he makes. It’s like an “aooowww” feels good face. I mean he was slow winding it! Hey HLN just said THIS IS TI has made 7 million so far. GO MICHAEL! WHOOOO! You know… I haven’t seen one person at the airport reppin’ Mike in the 6 hrs I’ve been here. Guess that’s a good thing about LA. Hey, that makes cool thing about LA #5…people show their love for Mike. Yo, they transition out of Thriller with Threatened. Man that song hits so hard!
The October Chronicles Part VI: THIS IS IT
10-28-09
Reflecting on THIS IS IT. It started our pretty sad. Just to see al of the dancers’ interviews…Like most were crying years of joy. The funniest part was when he was burning the jacket. The most surprising part was when he did the SLOW MOTION WIT IT pelvic thrust on Billie Jean. I Holla’d! It was funny how he was stern, but respectful. Another funny moment was on Smooth Criminal when he was supposed to come in at a certain point and he didn’t So Kenny Ortega or whoever brought it to his attention and Mike replied…I’m sizzling. Then Travis or somebody goes …He’s sizzling. I was rolling. I really like the Blood on the Dance floor hair. It was funny on IJCSLY when he started singing and Judith stopped singing with him and was just watching him feel it and SANG it. He even had on really loose fitting clothes for Earth Song. And as Chevonne called it …an OPP coat. I don’t like the way his lips look. Dry. Cool new effect Raining zombies on Thriller. Mike coming out of a big spider. The Smooth Criminal black and white gangster sequence was cool. The Earth Song footage and little girl were awesome. A beautiful moment was when eh was talking about his idea for the bulldozer on Earth Song and how he felt the bulldozer should close in silence then the keyboardist played the da da da da da da da da da on and it was just what Mike was going for and Mike looked at him, smiled, and said god bless you. He was really intimate with Judith during IJCSLY. He gave her a full body hug. He was cool and flirtatious with the black dancer chick on TWYMMF too. I got to see how the dancers practiced to be able to accurately jump out of the floor hydraulic thing. When the dancers were practicing the pelvis thrusts w/ the crotch hold it looked gross or funny looking, but when Mike does it it is what it is…a dance move. Oooh and the out of the floor jump thingy is called getting toasted!
At IMAX for THIS IS IT Part 2 and OH HELL NAW. The Jacksons A&E commercial just played. As much as I am afraid …I’ll be watching it. Ok, the IMAX crowd was a lot more subdued than the Special Screening crowd. Still loving Mike though. This time around I couldn’t hold back the tears. One really poignant thing was the last dancer’s remarks. Something like…life is hard and I was looking for something to believe in and THIS IS IT. Ooh, that stuck a chord with me because Michael is that thing for me to believe in. To keep struggling, keep fighting, I couldn’t bat the tears away on Man In The Mirror and I had to wipe them away with my sleeve. I love him so much. And even after I left and was descending the escalators at Universal I was tearing up. One a side not That one Australian dancer looked kinda good. Nice chest. Oh lord, I don’t been without a man so long I am not only looking at White dudes…I’m looking at White dudes from other countries. Anyway…my heart skipped a beat when he did that run.
I bought the THIS IS IT album yesterday, Man, the digital re-mastering is noticeable. Being that I am familiar with the song s I know it. I also heard this beans rattling in a can sound on Thriller that I had never heard before. Dorian the background singer looks like Hill Harper. I wonder how people live in LA all of their lives? I guess if it’s what you know then its cool. On the 405 I started to wonder how far away I was from the Holmney/Holmey Hills place.
Question: What is so exciting about IMAX? The screen did look curved, but it wasn’t nothing fancy. Maybe my last experience with IMAX with special in some way being that it was at the Science Center. Or maybe that particular screen was NOT IMAX? I’m not happy with my hat anymore. These tracks have made it tight fitting. You know what…I know what I don’t like about his lips! They have been artificially plumped or something. One thing that was cool was that I THINK he was singing Earth Song Live. I love the way he sounds live. It’s rougher, more real. He pretty much sang everything live, but not full out. Earth Song is really the only song he sang out. Back to the THIS IS IT album. The SOOML demo is nice. Simple. Just him and a guitar. The Planet Earth poem’s cadence feels so familiar. I don’t know if it is similar to something I wrote or someone else, but man that poem feels very familiar. Maybe It’s in his poetry book.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Quote of the day: November 6th
Quote of the day: 'Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.'
~ the words of Arthur C. Clarke in Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol
~ the words of Arthur C. Clarke in Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol
November 6th Thoughts
Whoever thought to make the governmental seal with the spread eagle? It's really explicit. The little red, white, and blue shield looks like it's hiding the eagles' bits. Some turkey legs would be nice. Like the ones from Six Flags.
I wonder whats going to happen with magic mountain now the Disney is talking about building a park in Santa Clarita.
I am so addicted ti apples and peanut butter. It's like some new invention to my taste buds. I'm tempted to just eat peanut butter. God this is an awesome food!
Today a dude came to my window with the most luxurious hair. And it was jet black. I mean, it had slow motion body like Prince Charming on Shrek. He got Joe Lawrence on Blossom beat! I just wanted to run my fingers through it.
There was the white dude in the lobby looking like a dingy Shadow Stevens.
Don't zone out during presentations and start admiring the speakers body. I did it and before long I had him cooking me eggs naked in the kitchen like Ving Rhames on Baby Boy. Sir Yes Sir!
It's amazing how people bodies can stretch with weight gain.
I wish this old slightly demented lady would shut up. She always talking in circles and repeating shit. She ain't even talking to me and I am irritated.
I wonder whats going to happen with magic mountain now the Disney is talking about building a park in Santa Clarita.
I am so addicted ti apples and peanut butter. It's like some new invention to my taste buds. I'm tempted to just eat peanut butter. God this is an awesome food!
Today a dude came to my window with the most luxurious hair. And it was jet black. I mean, it had slow motion body like Prince Charming on Shrek. He got Joe Lawrence on Blossom beat! I just wanted to run my fingers through it.
There was the white dude in the lobby looking like a dingy Shadow Stevens.
Don't zone out during presentations and start admiring the speakers body. I did it and before long I had him cooking me eggs naked in the kitchen like Ving Rhames on Baby Boy. Sir Yes Sir!
It's amazing how people bodies can stretch with weight gain.
I wish this old slightly demented lady would shut up. She always talking in circles and repeating shit. She ain't even talking to me and I am irritated.
The October Chronicles Part V: Thrill The World/My Birthday
10-26-09
Had an interesting dream last night, I guess we were on Neverland or my dream version of it and there were shooting stars. I believe some of my family was there. We were all out on this lush backyard/pasture celebrating. There may have been food or something, but we were a ways from it. Sp anyway, I took Michael’s hand and was like “look shooting stars.” He didn’t see the first few. The sky had a purple tint to it that night…kind of like the MAC computer desktop. We hugged side by side and watched. This time Neverland was right off the highway. Somehow right along the side where the 101 and 405 meet. The trees you saw sticking up between the highway were Neverland trees. It felt so col. We were friends in an embrace. TV Guide channel is all Mike all the time again. The dancer who does TWYMMF said he would give hugs and one time she said “you always smell good” and he replied “I should.” Hey, another background singer was back. The Dorien dude who had the slightly blonde hair and drawn on facial hair on the BAD Tour.
Got that Rabbi book for my bday, but will return it. He doesn’t sit right with me. Can’t support anything that aids him in existing. Speaking of birthdays. Mine started out great and ended in a whimper. Like putting down Old Yeller. Mingle and Plei was absolutely great. I had a ball and thank all if those in attendance. I overslept for the health fair, but made it. Everything looked nice. Dude from Hot 92.3 gave me tickets to see Boyz II Men for my bday. Every interaction I have ever had with that station has been a positive one. They seem to hire cool, quality people. If only I could remember that dude’s name. The massage was ok. Got there late, therefore, it was only a 40 minute massage. Took forever to get to TTW. Damn LA traffic, but we got there. There were so man people. It felt like this event didn’t belong to us. We were just pawns in some game. I had trouble just finding people I knew. Wish I would have had friends to share the experience with. Sorors came, but missed the whole thin. We did get a free Tapout T shirt. I don’t even know what that is. They say 6,000 people danced. They even had people with special wristbands who got to dance up front. Thus event didn’t belong to the fans. I think it would have if AEG weren’t involved. The best zombie out there was Amy Winehouse. Yes there was an Amy Winehouse Zombie, Bee Hive and All! Despite the rules there was a good 100 Michael Jacksons out there. There were people dancing who didn't even have their zombie on. They were just dancing. Got some love from my Zombie Valley people.
And then shit went down hill. Went to dinner. It was good. No one showed, but family and we rode together Got to the Echo. No one showed, but one person and it was nearly 1am. We were ready to go because hands down it was the worst club I have ever been to. They played funky soul, but no one song we had actually heard of. The crowd was young Asians, Nik and Oronde saw the lead singing Bee Gee…so they say. Best thing about the night was the slice of pizza I had from Two Boots.
And now I am on the commuter bus, wishing I didn’t have to go to the god forsaken job. I hope the rest of my week gets better,
Now that I know Michael had absolutely nothing to do with the release of the THIS IS IT song, I’m not too sure about how I feel. If he didn’t initiate its release then it wasn’t good enough. I don’t like this posthumous shit! Initially I’m like cool…Mike and the brothers did this back in the day. But now I hear that some people just threw them elements together. It’s just sucky that you lose control over yourself.
Prince is such an ass I bet he’ll have his estate burn his music and mix it with his ashes in an urn to make sure nobody releases any of his music posthumous.
I don’t think straight weaves are for me. This already looks crappy. And it’s day 4. No need in me going in for a tightening because this wont be in for more than a month… I’ll see how it goes once I put some product on it. There are just always stray hairs and it tangles in the back and loses its curl.
I keep forgetting to write this, but last week I walked past this guy who looked like Dr. Pratt’s gay little brother on ER. I bet it was him, but the question is…what was he doing in the federal building. Humh? Looking back and I feel as if I haven’t accomplished anything since I’ve been in California. I just feel stagnant. Now at 28 life sucks and I feel like a loser…in debt for an education that really ain’t helped me worth shit.
I feel like doodling. Insert doodle here:
10-27-09
Why did Lorraine shoot herself? I mean like…did Ike’s dick have super powers? Never experienced that kind of love…can’t grasp the concept. Why she here Ike? Why she here?
Had an interesting dream last night, I guess we were on Neverland or my dream version of it and there were shooting stars. I believe some of my family was there. We were all out on this lush backyard/pasture celebrating. There may have been food or something, but we were a ways from it. Sp anyway, I took Michael’s hand and was like “look shooting stars.” He didn’t see the first few. The sky had a purple tint to it that night…kind of like the MAC computer desktop. We hugged side by side and watched. This time Neverland was right off the highway. Somehow right along the side where the 101 and 405 meet. The trees you saw sticking up between the highway were Neverland trees. It felt so col. We were friends in an embrace. TV Guide channel is all Mike all the time again. The dancer who does TWYMMF said he would give hugs and one time she said “you always smell good” and he replied “I should.” Hey, another background singer was back. The Dorien dude who had the slightly blonde hair and drawn on facial hair on the BAD Tour.
Got that Rabbi book for my bday, but will return it. He doesn’t sit right with me. Can’t support anything that aids him in existing. Speaking of birthdays. Mine started out great and ended in a whimper. Like putting down Old Yeller. Mingle and Plei was absolutely great. I had a ball and thank all if those in attendance. I overslept for the health fair, but made it. Everything looked nice. Dude from Hot 92.3 gave me tickets to see Boyz II Men for my bday. Every interaction I have ever had with that station has been a positive one. They seem to hire cool, quality people. If only I could remember that dude’s name. The massage was ok. Got there late, therefore, it was only a 40 minute massage. Took forever to get to TTW. Damn LA traffic, but we got there. There were so man people. It felt like this event didn’t belong to us. We were just pawns in some game. I had trouble just finding people I knew. Wish I would have had friends to share the experience with. Sorors came, but missed the whole thin. We did get a free Tapout T shirt. I don’t even know what that is. They say 6,000 people danced. They even had people with special wristbands who got to dance up front. Thus event didn’t belong to the fans. I think it would have if AEG weren’t involved. The best zombie out there was Amy Winehouse. Yes there was an Amy Winehouse Zombie, Bee Hive and All! Despite the rules there was a good 100 Michael Jacksons out there. There were people dancing who didn't even have their zombie on. They were just dancing. Got some love from my Zombie Valley people.
And then shit went down hill. Went to dinner. It was good. No one showed, but family and we rode together Got to the Echo. No one showed, but one person and it was nearly 1am. We were ready to go because hands down it was the worst club I have ever been to. They played funky soul, but no one song we had actually heard of. The crowd was young Asians, Nik and Oronde saw the lead singing Bee Gee…so they say. Best thing about the night was the slice of pizza I had from Two Boots.
And now I am on the commuter bus, wishing I didn’t have to go to the god forsaken job. I hope the rest of my week gets better,
Now that I know Michael had absolutely nothing to do with the release of the THIS IS IT song, I’m not too sure about how I feel. If he didn’t initiate its release then it wasn’t good enough. I don’t like this posthumous shit! Initially I’m like cool…Mike and the brothers did this back in the day. But now I hear that some people just threw them elements together. It’s just sucky that you lose control over yourself.
Prince is such an ass I bet he’ll have his estate burn his music and mix it with his ashes in an urn to make sure nobody releases any of his music posthumous.
I don’t think straight weaves are for me. This already looks crappy. And it’s day 4. No need in me going in for a tightening because this wont be in for more than a month… I’ll see how it goes once I put some product on it. There are just always stray hairs and it tangles in the back and loses its curl.
I keep forgetting to write this, but last week I walked past this guy who looked like Dr. Pratt’s gay little brother on ER. I bet it was him, but the question is…what was he doing in the federal building. Humh? Looking back and I feel as if I haven’t accomplished anything since I’ve been in California. I just feel stagnant. Now at 28 life sucks and I feel like a loser…in debt for an education that really ain’t helped me worth shit.
I feel like doodling. Insert doodle here:
10-27-09
Why did Lorraine shoot herself? I mean like…did Ike’s dick have super powers? Never experienced that kind of love…can’t grasp the concept. Why she here Ike? Why she here?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Fame and Stardom: A Poem
Fame and Stardom. On the outside looking in it seems grand. But as I mature I see what a core it has to be. I see how tough it is. To be built up…and then on a whim broken down again and again. All of the hopes, dreams, and aspirations are but mere apparitions in the eye of time…you only have so much of it. It’s precious. What will you do with it while you’ve got it? Are you willing to make that sacrifice? The time is now, move quick, think hard, maybe think twice.
The October Chronicles Part IV
10-13-09
8:30am, turned on the MP3 player and 94.7 was playing THIS IS IT. Made me jump. Maybe I can keep my emotions in check. I have avoided listening to it since the other night. The guitar sounds like something old Jacksons-Tito-ish. Maybe something off Destiny. I am afraid. I’ve been all excited to see this movie and I know I’m gonna have a hard time. Might as well bring a box of Kleenex. Paul Anka just got over like a fat rat. Man if he ain't lucky that he co-wrote the song. THIS IS IT/Never Heard reminds me of a particular Jacksons song. I can’t quite put my finger on it right now, but its coming. As so as I heard it I was like THIS AIN’T FINISHED! It’s raggedy for Mike release standards. He ain’t even singing all of the words. Classic Dr. Dre produced song...for that matter, the best song Teddy Riley has been attached to…NO DIGGITY. There’s no way this song can come on and you not just fall into the groove.
Why is Monica getting a reality show? This is officially stupid. If another MF comes out spreading all of their business in the streets I’m gonna scream.
Sunday was a good day. TTW practice went well. We had about 40 people show up and they were really fast learners. I think one day we are going to cause an accident at the corner of Huston and Hazeltine. Cars stop or slow down at the intersection when it’s not warranted to watch us. I hope I can fit into the bridesmaid dress from Nene’s wedding. It will be my TTW Zombie outfit. Went on an adventure to find some sheet music for Wednesday’s voice lesson. Hit up Baxter Northup Music in Sherman Oaks. I got Alfie, Summertime, Always On My Mind (the Willie Nelson version), Blue Skies, and let me tell you…the Blue Skies sheet music had a Shattinger’s Music stamp. Shattinger’s is the music store in St. Louis by Soulard. Small World! I also bought an Ella Fitzgerald song book. AND my Bonus...ENJOY YOURSELF by The Jacksons! Don’t plan on using it , but it’s my first piece of sheet music in my collection. It was only $9.95. I miss doing cool stuff. I hope Wednesday’s lesson goes well.
I acquired a new picture of Mike circa 1977 in London rehearsing for some show. I am going to pull on that visual for my book. I have been on book writing hiatus for a minute…hopefully the mod hits me some time soon.
Two cool thing I saw at Guitar Center and must buy. The song books of Quincy Jones and Stevie Wonder. You can get so much bang for your buck with those.
Hey, I like that Brian McKnight Show!
10-15-09
If I had to date a cast member of South Park it would be Kyle or Stan. They’re level headed. Kenny, I have never seen his face. That cloak of mystery doesn’t work for me.
Why do things happen the way that they do…even through indecision. I was conflicted over whether or not to go to Sonic. I give in and go because I have a coupon. I pull up and they are playing You Rock My World…then the DJ announces non-stop Michael Jackson. And then here comes Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough and that is where I am at at 8:23pm on Thursday October 16, 2009. And now…You Are Not Alone. This song reminds me of my tears the first time I heard THIS IS IT. Seriously, why do people go out of their way to hate on others? Practice the old adage…if you have nothing good to say don’t say nothing at all…especially when no one asked you shit. The Caucasoids!
10-16-09
It’s like no matter where I go its just hitting me in the face. I have black eyes, swollen cheeks, and a busted lip. I was at CVS and they had posters on sale for $7.49. It was that gay photo shoot around the time of Victory. His hair was fat, yet stringy. The box the posters were in ad a postered outside and he was juts looking at me. All I saw was his face and 1958-2009.
I saw some dude who looks like Kevin Frazier from Entertainment Tonight.
I totally for got about the blue armband.
10-17-09
OMG, just got the connection between Jackie and Paula Abdul…MAGIC JOHNSON! He said he is cool with Jackie…Lakers…early 80’s, YEP! Umh Humh. So if that is true what J. Randy Taraborelli be saying then ah hah!
You’re born alone. You die alone. Never have those words been truly understood. I just thought my mom was being mean or insensitive when she said that in response to me not wanting to do things alone. Now the sucky past is if you live alone. A very solitary existence to be born, live, and die alone.
I hate when radio station speed up songs. They’ve sped up Billie Jean. That song has a lot of sprinkles. Like sprinkles of sound all over the place. Little accents that make the sound pop without you even noticing it.
I think my fave Alicia Keys song is Unbreakable. It’s clever and could be the black love anthem although Kimora ain’t black.
10-19-09
It’s weird to hear people refer to Shaq as Shaquille O’Neal…or is it two L’s or EI instead of EA?
10-20-09
Gosh, I hate uncertain morning. I’m not liking being in new places. I just want this month to be over with. I feel like I'm in hostile territory. There is no ease to the air here. I just want this day to be over with .I slept really well on the bus this morning. Don’t know why. It was warm…the sun is out. Almost feels foreign to have a bright, sunny day.
I cannot keep seeing silly, weird shit. Why did I just see four men (2 white 2 black). The one older black dude was balding like George Jefferson.. Walking all happy cause they just got out of jail. And how did I know? They all had on disposable blue zip up jump suits. I actually put on my mean mug and clutched my purse a little tighter. I like running errands alone. I can do what I wanna do at a moments whim with total disregard for all others.
You ever wonder why God puts you where he puts you? Like, why am I in LA? Really? What am I supposed to be getting out of this, but depression with a side of mental diffraction.
10-21-09
Why is Michael’s promoting the idea of making a Thriller jacket out of duck tape? That is some of the tackiest shit U have ever seen. And they have a poster up illustrating the finished product. Glad I was Thriller Mike 3 years ago and that my Thriller jacket is REAL!
I’m starting to get tired of people ignorantly calling me Monique.
10-23-09
I’m not a priority in anyone’s life, but mine. Yesterday a Jr. baby Cockroach. It was injured. Right at the curb at Temple and Main. It was trying feverishly to crawl, but was going nowhere. Green excrement protruded from its backside. I felt so sorry for it. I feared it was suffering. Then I understood euthanasia.
8:30am, turned on the MP3 player and 94.7 was playing THIS IS IT. Made me jump. Maybe I can keep my emotions in check. I have avoided listening to it since the other night. The guitar sounds like something old Jacksons-Tito-ish. Maybe something off Destiny. I am afraid. I’ve been all excited to see this movie and I know I’m gonna have a hard time. Might as well bring a box of Kleenex. Paul Anka just got over like a fat rat. Man if he ain't lucky that he co-wrote the song. THIS IS IT/Never Heard reminds me of a particular Jacksons song. I can’t quite put my finger on it right now, but its coming. As so as I heard it I was like THIS AIN’T FINISHED! It’s raggedy for Mike release standards. He ain’t even singing all of the words. Classic Dr. Dre produced song...for that matter, the best song Teddy Riley has been attached to…NO DIGGITY. There’s no way this song can come on and you not just fall into the groove.
Why is Monica getting a reality show? This is officially stupid. If another MF comes out spreading all of their business in the streets I’m gonna scream.
Sunday was a good day. TTW practice went well. We had about 40 people show up and they were really fast learners. I think one day we are going to cause an accident at the corner of Huston and Hazeltine. Cars stop or slow down at the intersection when it’s not warranted to watch us. I hope I can fit into the bridesmaid dress from Nene’s wedding. It will be my TTW Zombie outfit. Went on an adventure to find some sheet music for Wednesday’s voice lesson. Hit up Baxter Northup Music in Sherman Oaks. I got Alfie, Summertime, Always On My Mind (the Willie Nelson version), Blue Skies, and let me tell you…the Blue Skies sheet music had a Shattinger’s Music stamp. Shattinger’s is the music store in St. Louis by Soulard. Small World! I also bought an Ella Fitzgerald song book. AND my Bonus...ENJOY YOURSELF by The Jacksons! Don’t plan on using it , but it’s my first piece of sheet music in my collection. It was only $9.95. I miss doing cool stuff. I hope Wednesday’s lesson goes well.
I acquired a new picture of Mike circa 1977 in London rehearsing for some show. I am going to pull on that visual for my book. I have been on book writing hiatus for a minute…hopefully the mod hits me some time soon.
Two cool thing I saw at Guitar Center and must buy. The song books of Quincy Jones and Stevie Wonder. You can get so much bang for your buck with those.
Hey, I like that Brian McKnight Show!
10-15-09
If I had to date a cast member of South Park it would be Kyle or Stan. They’re level headed. Kenny, I have never seen his face. That cloak of mystery doesn’t work for me.
Why do things happen the way that they do…even through indecision. I was conflicted over whether or not to go to Sonic. I give in and go because I have a coupon. I pull up and they are playing You Rock My World…then the DJ announces non-stop Michael Jackson. And then here comes Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough and that is where I am at at 8:23pm on Thursday October 16, 2009. And now…You Are Not Alone. This song reminds me of my tears the first time I heard THIS IS IT. Seriously, why do people go out of their way to hate on others? Practice the old adage…if you have nothing good to say don’t say nothing at all…especially when no one asked you shit. The Caucasoids!
10-16-09
It’s like no matter where I go its just hitting me in the face. I have black eyes, swollen cheeks, and a busted lip. I was at CVS and they had posters on sale for $7.49. It was that gay photo shoot around the time of Victory. His hair was fat, yet stringy. The box the posters were in ad a postered outside and he was juts looking at me. All I saw was his face and 1958-2009.
I saw some dude who looks like Kevin Frazier from Entertainment Tonight.
I totally for got about the blue armband.
10-17-09
OMG, just got the connection between Jackie and Paula Abdul…MAGIC JOHNSON! He said he is cool with Jackie…Lakers…early 80’s, YEP! Umh Humh. So if that is true what J. Randy Taraborelli be saying then ah hah!
You’re born alone. You die alone. Never have those words been truly understood. I just thought my mom was being mean or insensitive when she said that in response to me not wanting to do things alone. Now the sucky past is if you live alone. A very solitary existence to be born, live, and die alone.
I hate when radio station speed up songs. They’ve sped up Billie Jean. That song has a lot of sprinkles. Like sprinkles of sound all over the place. Little accents that make the sound pop without you even noticing it.
I think my fave Alicia Keys song is Unbreakable. It’s clever and could be the black love anthem although Kimora ain’t black.
10-19-09
It’s weird to hear people refer to Shaq as Shaquille O’Neal…or is it two L’s or EI instead of EA?
10-20-09
Gosh, I hate uncertain morning. I’m not liking being in new places. I just want this month to be over with. I feel like I'm in hostile territory. There is no ease to the air here. I just want this day to be over with .I slept really well on the bus this morning. Don’t know why. It was warm…the sun is out. Almost feels foreign to have a bright, sunny day.
I cannot keep seeing silly, weird shit. Why did I just see four men (2 white 2 black). The one older black dude was balding like George Jefferson.. Walking all happy cause they just got out of jail. And how did I know? They all had on disposable blue zip up jump suits. I actually put on my mean mug and clutched my purse a little tighter. I like running errands alone. I can do what I wanna do at a moments whim with total disregard for all others.
You ever wonder why God puts you where he puts you? Like, why am I in LA? Really? What am I supposed to be getting out of this, but depression with a side of mental diffraction.
10-21-09
Why is Michael’s promoting the idea of making a Thriller jacket out of duck tape? That is some of the tackiest shit U have ever seen. And they have a poster up illustrating the finished product. Glad I was Thriller Mike 3 years ago and that my Thriller jacket is REAL!
I’m starting to get tired of people ignorantly calling me Monique.
10-23-09
I’m not a priority in anyone’s life, but mine. Yesterday a Jr. baby Cockroach. It was injured. Right at the curb at Temple and Main. It was trying feverishly to crawl, but was going nowhere. Green excrement protruded from its backside. I felt so sorry for it. I feared it was suffering. Then I understood euthanasia.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
The Phrase which now sounds differently
It feels differently. It's existence, it's utterance. The vocalization of the syllables means so much now...THIS IS IT.
The October Chronicles Part III
10-6-09
Baby Phat is now being sold at Walmart. Interesting. The sound of a stripper going down a pole is a funny one.
I'm afraid to love because I'm afraid to lose. That makes for a sad state of existence. I tend to adore from afar, worried that the touch would be too much for me to bear. So like this, in the shadows dreaming and wishing I fare.
Me thinking deeply, but some baby will one day get Mike's social security number, It would be cool to learn who had your SSN before you. I wonder exactly how that rule works. How many years/months have to pass before that number is available?
Does you body ever not feel like your own? Like you are...your essence is your soul and there is some disjointing. Like your soul doesn't fit snugly inside your body. There's a little bit of space between you and the shell and your soul rattles around a little. Makes you feel like you can step outside of yourself. Your body. Makes me kind of dizzy and unsteady on my soul's feet. Almost like it wants to escape. It's a nervous feeling. Like having so much energy and love and things you want to do that you almost want to burst into tears; maybe even a little fit because this body is holding your soul back from its destiny.
10-7-09
Uncouth-when a person haucks up phlegm in the company of others and I don't mean PITEWEY. Hawacccchgh!
10-8-09
Living until you're old and gray. Is it all its cracked up to be? Seems to me like it would be depressing. You're just sitting and watching everyone you love die. Seems like a type of mental torture. It's the Otis from the Temptations kind of life. Everyone in your inner circle dies and it just leaves you trying to recapture/recreate the "what used to be." Being old is often times lonely too. Wee shit, it make no difference because I am young and somewhat Verile and probably as lonely as your run of the mill geriatric person. Maybe those live hard, party all night, die when you're young rockers had it right. It sucks to live long enough to see all of the people you know get sick from one illness or another and perish. It just seems unfair and cruel. Whoever made this world sure has a certain level of complex organic thought.
Stranger in Moscow feels like a heartbeat. Or like it's keeping time. The slow motion flutter of a hummingbird's wings. I am starting to think that life won't get better. It just changes; maintaining just about the same levels of disdain, misfortune, and hazy gray as it always has.
It sucks to be acutely aware of your mortality. Why do organisms have to die? Can't they just regenerate?
10-9-09
Yo, Mike was affiliated with all the little black kid boy groups back in the day. The Boys, ABC, Kriss Kross. My Little boy group baby daddies:
The Boys-Hakeem
ABC-Red
Kriss Kross-The light skinned Chris
Damn it! No wonder Sananda be up in Switzerland. Milan is like a road trip away. I would really like to meet him. I don't know what I'd say outside of thanks.
In everything I do he somehow flows through me. An energy, a hope. No matter how dim the light may be right now.
Baby Phat is now being sold at Walmart. Interesting. The sound of a stripper going down a pole is a funny one.
I'm afraid to love because I'm afraid to lose. That makes for a sad state of existence. I tend to adore from afar, worried that the touch would be too much for me to bear. So like this, in the shadows dreaming and wishing I fare.
Me thinking deeply, but some baby will one day get Mike's social security number, It would be cool to learn who had your SSN before you. I wonder exactly how that rule works. How many years/months have to pass before that number is available?
Does you body ever not feel like your own? Like you are...your essence is your soul and there is some disjointing. Like your soul doesn't fit snugly inside your body. There's a little bit of space between you and the shell and your soul rattles around a little. Makes you feel like you can step outside of yourself. Your body. Makes me kind of dizzy and unsteady on my soul's feet. Almost like it wants to escape. It's a nervous feeling. Like having so much energy and love and things you want to do that you almost want to burst into tears; maybe even a little fit because this body is holding your soul back from its destiny.
10-7-09
Uncouth-when a person haucks up phlegm in the company of others and I don't mean PITEWEY. Hawacccchgh!
10-8-09
Living until you're old and gray. Is it all its cracked up to be? Seems to me like it would be depressing. You're just sitting and watching everyone you love die. Seems like a type of mental torture. It's the Otis from the Temptations kind of life. Everyone in your inner circle dies and it just leaves you trying to recapture/recreate the "what used to be." Being old is often times lonely too. Wee shit, it make no difference because I am young and somewhat Verile and probably as lonely as your run of the mill geriatric person. Maybe those live hard, party all night, die when you're young rockers had it right. It sucks to live long enough to see all of the people you know get sick from one illness or another and perish. It just seems unfair and cruel. Whoever made this world sure has a certain level of complex organic thought.
Stranger in Moscow feels like a heartbeat. Or like it's keeping time. The slow motion flutter of a hummingbird's wings. I am starting to think that life won't get better. It just changes; maintaining just about the same levels of disdain, misfortune, and hazy gray as it always has.
It sucks to be acutely aware of your mortality. Why do organisms have to die? Can't they just regenerate?
10-9-09
Yo, Mike was affiliated with all the little black kid boy groups back in the day. The Boys, ABC, Kriss Kross. My Little boy group baby daddies:
The Boys-Hakeem
ABC-Red
Kriss Kross-The light skinned Chris
Damn it! No wonder Sananda be up in Switzerland. Milan is like a road trip away. I would really like to meet him. I don't know what I'd say outside of thanks.
In everything I do he somehow flows through me. An energy, a hope. No matter how dim the light may be right now.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Reflecting on way TMI on the autopsy: October 2nd
We really didn't need to know a lot of that stuff. I'm not really shocked by any of it because you could see it. Other stuff, normal 50 year old man stuff, but what broke me down was some exact information that didn't have nothing to do with nothing. Taking 'bout some he is still producing sperm. So, that ain't medical. They can't be like he went into cardiac arrest because his boys was still swimming. I really don't want to think of him having that ability anyway...he's magical.
What I did not know was that you could get your head tattooed to hide the fact that you're balding. Now that is really cool. More balding men should look into that. Man, I forget that You have scars after surgery. How do you hide scars on your face? Maybe they are minuscule. Like with colored people your scars and scabs heal dark so even though he was losing pigment did he still heal dark? The world (sigh) it is increasingly sucking to live in this Day and time. I wonder why he went with the pink lip color? I like a more natural color on him. Damn, that is interesting they can tattoo a dark colored lip pink. Body augmentation is really interesting. As a science Mike is absolutely intriguing. You just wonder HOW HE DO THAT?
What I did not know was that you could get your head tattooed to hide the fact that you're balding. Now that is really cool. More balding men should look into that. Man, I forget that You have scars after surgery. How do you hide scars on your face? Maybe they are minuscule. Like with colored people your scars and scabs heal dark so even though he was losing pigment did he still heal dark? The world (sigh) it is increasingly sucking to live in this Day and time. I wonder why he went with the pink lip color? I like a more natural color on him. Damn, that is interesting they can tattoo a dark colored lip pink. Body augmentation is really interesting. As a science Mike is absolutely intriguing. You just wonder HOW HE DO THAT?
The October Chronicles Part II
10-2-2009
I think of how much he must have really disliked what he saw in the mirror. To go through all of that he wasn't no bitch when it came to the possibility of pain. He needed on of those validity kisses like the one Shug Avery gave Ceelie when they were playing dress up.
It's amazing how we never see the beauty in ourselves. And when people point it out it makes us feel embarrassed, ashamed, uncomfortable, bashful. Its like believing you could not possibly be worthy of their praise. I know how it is to look in the mirror and not like everything you see. But I try not to let it consume me. Besides, I couldn't do anything about it in my current financial state anyway. It will just make me more depressed than I already am. The Queen of Suppression.
I feel as if I don't have anything tangible to offer people.
I may have already said this, but Nick Cannon favors Randy Jackson (Mike's Brother) when he was younger.
I wonder ho much people get paid for their own reality shows?
"George was never my scene and I don't like Star Wars"
~Lyric to Bicycle Races by Queen
It's amazing how much Beatles stuff you can see out now, now that they can use the music. Come Together is like on 2 national ad campaigns.
I am imagining too strong. I envisioned my Shakeabadadown reception choreography and actually felt the dizziness of the turn or something. It was weird. I did an ice skating move without the ice and skates. bot sure if that is possible. That was weird. I felt a slight roller coaster stomach thingy.
10-3-09
Living in California makes this all the more real to me and I don't want real. It's haunting me. Every time I go to work I pass the cemetery and have ti acknowledge that he MAY be over there somewhere It's really really sad.
I don't think that any men's colognes smell goof. It just all smells the same to me. Not necessarily stinky, but just the same.
Why is Trojan all of a sudden making advances in condom technology?In the past 5 years they have been very innovative and have an actual advertising campaign. There used to never be condom commercials on TV.
"Pass me a sissy soul sucker I'll slay him"
~LL Cool J
Why is Cheryl Lee Ralph always so dramatic? She is never NOT on.
10-4-09
Where is Outkast?
The fact of being human is a blessing and a curse. Damn the ability to reason.
How do you know if you're alive? Cause I'm dead on the inside.
I'm profoundly lost. I know, people tell me I am not alone, but I am...all alone. I feel as if I am locked inside a room padded with black foam pillows. Those pillows have accusing faces vicious mouths. They tear me apart limb by limb. Then build me up again just to continue their insatiable rage. They spout things like NO, You Can't. They are an obstacle. They impede my soul from flying away. This is my prison. Guarded by these demonic apparitions. This is my living hell.
I think of how much he must have really disliked what he saw in the mirror. To go through all of that he wasn't no bitch when it came to the possibility of pain. He needed on of those validity kisses like the one Shug Avery gave Ceelie when they were playing dress up.
It's amazing how we never see the beauty in ourselves. And when people point it out it makes us feel embarrassed, ashamed, uncomfortable, bashful. Its like believing you could not possibly be worthy of their praise. I know how it is to look in the mirror and not like everything you see. But I try not to let it consume me. Besides, I couldn't do anything about it in my current financial state anyway. It will just make me more depressed than I already am. The Queen of Suppression.
I feel as if I don't have anything tangible to offer people.
I may have already said this, but Nick Cannon favors Randy Jackson (Mike's Brother) when he was younger.
I wonder ho much people get paid for their own reality shows?
"George was never my scene and I don't like Star Wars"
~Lyric to Bicycle Races by Queen
It's amazing how much Beatles stuff you can see out now, now that they can use the music. Come Together is like on 2 national ad campaigns.
I am imagining too strong. I envisioned my Shakeabadadown reception choreography and actually felt the dizziness of the turn or something. It was weird. I did an ice skating move without the ice and skates. bot sure if that is possible. That was weird. I felt a slight roller coaster stomach thingy.
10-3-09
Living in California makes this all the more real to me and I don't want real. It's haunting me. Every time I go to work I pass the cemetery and have ti acknowledge that he MAY be over there somewhere It's really really sad.
I don't think that any men's colognes smell goof. It just all smells the same to me. Not necessarily stinky, but just the same.
Why is Trojan all of a sudden making advances in condom technology?In the past 5 years they have been very innovative and have an actual advertising campaign. There used to never be condom commercials on TV.
"Pass me a sissy soul sucker I'll slay him"
~LL Cool J
Why is Cheryl Lee Ralph always so dramatic? She is never NOT on.
10-4-09
Where is Outkast?
The fact of being human is a blessing and a curse. Damn the ability to reason.
How do you know if you're alive? Cause I'm dead on the inside.
I'm profoundly lost. I know, people tell me I am not alone, but I am...all alone. I feel as if I am locked inside a room padded with black foam pillows. Those pillows have accusing faces vicious mouths. They tear me apart limb by limb. Then build me up again just to continue their insatiable rage. They spout things like NO, You Can't. They are an obstacle. They impede my soul from flying away. This is my prison. Guarded by these demonic apparitions. This is my living hell.
November 4th...what came to mind today
Last week or the week before last I saw this dude in the downstairs lobby who looked like Dr. Pratt's gay little brother on ER. Short and skinnier than he looks on ER. Well, I mention this possible sighting to Tessa and posed the question...I wonder what he was doing in the federal building. She tells me he got brought up on federal charges for selling oxycontin. DAMN Dr. Pratt's gay little brother!
Checki out Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Jones_III
Checki out Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Jones_III
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Quote of the day 10-1-2009
"People become dreamers when they are not satisfied with their reality, and sometimes they don't know what is real until they begin to dream."
~ Helon Habila in Waiting for an Angel
~ Helon Habila in Waiting for an Angel
AND THE RESULTS ARE IN...October 1st
ooh lord Jesus! KJLH just came on with breaking news. Autopsy is out. Strong heart. Little arthritis and plaque build up in the legs. Ruling this shit a homicide. I want this *i**a dead! I want vultures to eat him alive! OOH! I feel like jumping around the room like I'm 'bout to whup somebody's ass! I want to witness his death and laugh with glee to see his body twitch.
10-1-09 Poem
I stroke your bosom to feel your heart and lay my head on your shoulder to be of comfort. To be there for you is to be there for me.
Realized over the weekend in Missouri
Remember that dream I had last year or so about Elyse moving to LA and me taking her to a club and introducing her to my Asian boyfriend Kevin...well this weekend Elyse tells me she wants to move to LA....OMG, I'm Miss Cleo-ing!
State Farm is E-Ville
They are using I'll Be There for a commercial showing people in crisis and how they are there to help. Damn them for evoking out emotional ties to Mike. This sucks! They are gonna pimp him out like they did The Beatles and Elvis and James Brown. Control of your likeness and brand are invaluable.
The October Chronicles Part I
October 1, 2009
Why is Party City using Thriller on their Halloween commercials. I hate this. It cheapens it. When U love something or someone I like to hold it close. I don't really want to share it.
I feel perpetually cold. Chilled to the bone with nothingness an remorse.
OMG! They are gonna play THIS IS IT in IMAX theatres! Bought my ticket last night!
This is great! This is great!" (in older dude fan from that episode of Frasier voice)
"We thought Deb was your cat."
~said Roz Doyle to Gil Chesterton on Frasier
Where is Shaggy? He was energetic. Messed up I found out that he ain't native something from the Caribbean and has an American accent when speaking.
Ooh! Delayed remembrance. I totally forgot Queen Latifah released a singing album or two on Motown and she would have had to get permission from Motown for the use of ABC for OPP, hence her presence at the memorial. Umh humh!
Why is Party City using Thriller on their Halloween commercials. I hate this. It cheapens it. When U love something or someone I like to hold it close. I don't really want to share it.
I feel perpetually cold. Chilled to the bone with nothingness an remorse.
OMG! They are gonna play THIS IS IT in IMAX theatres! Bought my ticket last night!
This is great! This is great!" (in older dude fan from that episode of Frasier voice)
"We thought Deb was your cat."
~said Roz Doyle to Gil Chesterton on Frasier
Where is Shaggy? He was energetic. Messed up I found out that he ain't native something from the Caribbean and has an American accent when speaking.
Ooh! Delayed remembrance. I totally forgot Queen Latifah released a singing album or two on Motown and she would have had to get permission from Motown for the use of ABC for OPP, hence her presence at the memorial. Umh humh!
11-3-09 Quote of the Day
The human spirit craves mastery over its carnal shell.
~ Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol
~ Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol
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