If I could make a Musical Mix of Songs currently on my mp3 player to embody the love I hope for and have to give

the following songs would tell the story (in no particular order):
Creepin-Stevie Wonder
Love Is Stronger Than Pride-Rahsaan Patterson
Be My Vixen-Miguel
Girl W/ The Tattoo-Miguel
Sign Your Name-Terence Trent D'Arby (Sananda Maitreya)
Holding On To You- Sananda Maitreya
Yeah Yeah Yeah-Rahsaan Patterson
SugaRush Beat Company-LOVE
Hello-Amel Larrieux
Words-Anthony David
Everlasting Love-Rufus and Chaka Khan
You Belong To Me-Chaka Khan and Michael McDonald
Feels Good-Rahsaan Patterson
The Beautiful Ones-Prince
Adore-Prince
2 The 9's-Prince
Something-Musiq
Forever More-Enchantment

I Don't Want To Settle

Looking for a black man. Age 25-35. High School Grad (w/ some awesome reason why they didn’t go to or finish college). Dark skinned. 5’9” or taller. Not Fat. Nice smile (Must have all of your teeth and they must be clean and a nice shade of white). Nice eyes. Intelligent. Funny. Witty. Outgoing. No kids. Non-Smoker. Must be employed and have ambition in life. MUST LOVE MUSIC. Don’t wear skinny jeans, sandals, scarves for no damn reason, or busy ass Ed Hardy or knock off Ed Hardy-esque clothing.

Are those things too much to ask for? It doesn’t seem like a lot to me. Maybe I am just in the wrong place. Los Angeles: The land of the gay man and the thug man. Or if you are in the middle you looking like a Marques Houston Ass Nigga.

I don’t wear a long Indian remy weave. Although I do dabble in the art of wiggetry (I wear wigs for hair diversity). I am not light skinned and I don’t wear a size 2. I am black and no parts of my immediate lineage are Pacific Islander or Mexican. I am not a girly girl so be confident in yourself enough to exist without me constantly stroking your ego, although I will stroke something else. Just looking for someone to spend some life with, ya dig.

And don’t start preaching about the problems with black women. I ain’t did shit to you. You better holla at Keisha on that shit or go to therapy.

Deprivation

I’ve come to realize that I deprive myself out of fear. I also know what I want and see no point in wasting my time on some unfavorable subject. It leads to self doubt and cob webs.

My demons

Everybody has them and until tonight I was happy to let mine fester. But now they have been dredged up and I feel uncomfortable. I am so good at denying and forgetting until I am not sure it even existed in the first place. Remember, my mission is to please others at the cost of my own happiness. Kinda feel like I was raised to be a victim.

People

You know, I realized something: People are fickle. They are friendly as long as it suits them. From their point of view people are expendable. So I was mistaken. It wasn't that others from their past are wack; they are the source of dissension.

TTD's Neither Fish Nor Flesh

Listening to TTD's Neither Fish Nor Flesh: This album feels like a big experiment. It feels disjointed. This Side Of Love is the best thing on it. All of his albums after this one were really focused.

1-6-11 Realization of the Day

Life is hard. No wonder everybody is on drugs!

aww, my life is over. I feel like chattel.