11-26-09
Man, I left my lip gloss at the new house! Gosh my lips are unattractive right now.
Finally got a reception for 92.3 and Wanna Be Startin Something was on. DJ was like much love to families celebrating their first holidays without a loved one. Man, this is total BS! When is this gonna be over already? I'm tired of living with this pain and this is such a gargantuan happening that it will be hard to escape unless you’re on a deserted island….and that ain’t even safe. The grief may hook a ride on the wings of a bird migrating south for the winter and drop right in my lap.
Today is a Red Dragon day.
Holidays, I think, are made for people who have families. Either one of their own or a tradition of spending time together. Being alone without a family of my own ( ain’t tryin’ to have kids, just saying…some of my own peoples/man) or other family members to share it with…is kind of depressing. I wish I worked today. That way I could stay busy. I’ll write more of my book today if we are not moving.
Will & Grace. They are so cute. At least they have love. A gay dude and a straight chick kind of love, but a love nonetheless. Seems that she found her soul mate just not someone she can marry. I wonder if it true that your soul mate may not be your spouse/boyfriend
Monday, November 30, 2009
Possom Farts and Cane's Grandma's wig with a dash of terminally ill packing mules
11-25-09
Where is Robert Townsend? I miss his cute corniness?
Why do people stink? Like, seriously this lady just smelled like rancid spit, a dewy Kentucky morning, and possum fart. Possom fart, damn I had to get my 2 chuckles in on that one. Another lady came in with shades on –in a fluorescent lit building with a flip wig on like Cane’s grandma on Menace II Society.
I would really like a complex boyfriend. Not complex as in difficult for me to hands, but a man with layers. Who can take m from 0 to 60 in 3 seconds, who makes me ponder, who has a story, a struggle, a fire, a passion.
This MF’in bold ass bird keeps jumping on the table top WHILE I’M SITTING HERE! He done jumped over here 3 times. Next he gonna walk on across the table and take my bugle crumbs.
What an eventful day. (This passage has been omitted for privacy/security purposes) I operate from a place of integrity so….so be it.
Homeless man smelled like a terminally ill packing mule from 10 ft away. Crossing the street and smelled weed where there was no people or cars. Saw a mouse on the steps of the LA Mall. And I ain’t talking about a house mouse. That thing was the size of two gerbils. Rounded the corner and saw a cockroach. Wait, I don’t see it. Where did it go? Can’t be blending in with these leaves. Jesus Be A Fence.
Where is Robert Townsend? I miss his cute corniness?
Why do people stink? Like, seriously this lady just smelled like rancid spit, a dewy Kentucky morning, and possum fart. Possom fart, damn I had to get my 2 chuckles in on that one. Another lady came in with shades on –in a fluorescent lit building with a flip wig on like Cane’s grandma on Menace II Society.
I would really like a complex boyfriend. Not complex as in difficult for me to hands, but a man with layers. Who can take m from 0 to 60 in 3 seconds, who makes me ponder, who has a story, a struggle, a fire, a passion.
This MF’in bold ass bird keeps jumping on the table top WHILE I’M SITTING HERE! He done jumped over here 3 times. Next he gonna walk on across the table and take my bugle crumbs.
What an eventful day. (This passage has been omitted for privacy/security purposes) I operate from a place of integrity so….so be it.
Homeless man smelled like a terminally ill packing mule from 10 ft away. Crossing the street and smelled weed where there was no people or cars. Saw a mouse on the steps of the LA Mall. And I ain’t talking about a house mouse. That thing was the size of two gerbils. Rounded the corner and saw a cockroach. Wait, I don’t see it. Where did it go? Can’t be blending in with these leaves. Jesus Be A Fence.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Nov 23rd-How?
How do you find the answers? I'm sure there is a solution, but how do you go about getting there? What is the order of operation?
Something that absolutely infuriates me...people who are always on facebook. Asking questions and having people weigh in on their life's decisions. Its like...do you do anything else with yourself? I don't mind an update or 3 during the day if something kewl happens, but menial shit just bothers me.
Something that absolutely infuriates me...people who are always on facebook. Asking questions and having people weigh in on their life's decisions. Its like...do you do anything else with yourself? I don't mind an update or 3 during the day if something kewl happens, but menial shit just bothers me.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
I really don't get music these days
I am just perplexed at how meaningless and devoid of any kind of emotion it all is.
this moment feels like...
a lie naked in the shower and sob until I'm in damn near involuntary body spasms moment:(
Nov 22-Death
I hurt. I hurt so deeply, so profoundly that the cells within my body vibrate. Why did you have to go?
God, why do people have to die? Are other organisms aware of their mortality? Maybe it would be easier if we were clueless to it.
God, why do people have to die? Are other organisms aware of their mortality? Maybe it would be easier if we were clueless to it.
Nov 21st-Little Walter can get it!
Nightlife in Downtown LA ain't all that bad. Had a great time at Seven Lounge. There were a lot of short guys and models. I like the feel of the city. I miss city living. Makes me want to visit New York again.
Cried as I prayed last night/this morning I was just telling God how grateful I am to him/her for bringing Mike into my life. This love...what could it be other than an act of God.
Good News! I found my shank!
I hate when people are talking to you and belch and you don't notice it because you're talking back and all of a sudden I taste/smell the damn meat ridden burp.
LL has such a sexy laugh on Doin' It. I bet he has cheated on his wife a couple of 2-3 times.
OMG! So many of Mike's songs are about sex?! How can I learn to write about things I have never experienced?
I can't escape it. I just keeps hitting me in the face. I don't know how I am to deal with this when it hurts so bad.
Saw Cadillac Records tonight. That movie was good. It stays with you; haunts . Little Walter was very attractive to me. In multiple ways. I just cannot believe Columbus Short played Little Walter on Cadillac Records. DAMN! Clearly the country ass harmonica player with a gold, who carries a gun and will shoot a ni**a over his name and take the doors off the car cause its hot kinda of dude is my type. I never thought that dude was cute til I saw that movie. Maybe he is only cute in that movie.
Cried as I prayed last night/this morning I was just telling God how grateful I am to him/her for bringing Mike into my life. This love...what could it be other than an act of God.
Good News! I found my shank!
I hate when people are talking to you and belch and you don't notice it because you're talking back and all of a sudden I taste/smell the damn meat ridden burp.
LL has such a sexy laugh on Doin' It. I bet he has cheated on his wife a couple of 2-3 times.
OMG! So many of Mike's songs are about sex?! How can I learn to write about things I have never experienced?
I can't escape it. I just keeps hitting me in the face. I don't know how I am to deal with this when it hurts so bad.
Saw Cadillac Records tonight. That movie was good. It stays with you; haunts . Little Walter was very attractive to me. In multiple ways. I just cannot believe Columbus Short played Little Walter on Cadillac Records. DAMN! Clearly the country ass harmonica player with a gold, who carries a gun and will shoot a ni**a over his name and take the doors off the car cause its hot kinda of dude is my type. I never thought that dude was cute til I saw that movie. Maybe he is only cute in that movie.
Nov 20th- Adidias, good riddance to the evil one, and glad to be a bastard
Man, I need to buy tennis shoes more often. Got on my new $20.25 Adidas and I am just floating. I mean my gait is just fast and springy. I feel like busting out like John Travolta. Something else I remember from conversing with the 3 white ladies after the 3rd time of THIS IS IT. One of them was like His hands are so big! It's funny to me that people didn't realize his hands are big. His hands have always been huge. Maybe them being lighter now makes them stand out more. I dunno.
I forgot my apples for my ritual breakfast peanut butter and apples. Damn it all to hell! Ooh, and I am just realizing ( maybe I knew this and just forgot)how sexual in nature the lyrics of KEEP IT IN THE CLOSET are. I am like wet it, taste it, cleave it...WHAT?
Lust...have I ever lusted after someone? Maybe, but ...yea...maybe.
OOh, another Mike song that comes to mind is one I don't know the name of. It goes something like he wanna push it in, push it out???? he wanna wrap his arms all around you girl. Mother Mary mercy me love ain't what it used to be.
People are all like...that's boy's father committed suicide, can you believe it. I am like SO! Good riddance! I really don't give a fuck abut him dead, alive, or in purgatory. Another instance of having a fucked up father. Glad I don't have one.
I forgot my apples for my ritual breakfast peanut butter and apples. Damn it all to hell! Ooh, and I am just realizing ( maybe I knew this and just forgot)how sexual in nature the lyrics of KEEP IT IN THE CLOSET are. I am like wet it, taste it, cleave it...WHAT?
Lust...have I ever lusted after someone? Maybe, but ...yea...maybe.
OOh, another Mike song that comes to mind is one I don't know the name of. It goes something like he wanna push it in, push it out???? he wanna wrap his arms all around you girl. Mother Mary mercy me love ain't what it used to be.
People are all like...that's boy's father committed suicide, can you believe it. I am like SO! Good riddance! I really don't give a fuck abut him dead, alive, or in purgatory. Another instance of having a fucked up father. Glad I don't have one.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Quote of the Day:11-19-09
"My body is but a vessel for my most potent treasure...my mind."
~Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol
~Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol
He's always in my heart and frequently in my mind
I see his eyes again. The most beautiful eyes God ever created. Pensive, gentle, and warm.
November 19th: People be forgetting that I Am Monica
Saw the 5 Heartbeats this weekend, well some of it. Leon is real masculinely delicious. Do they make men like that anymore? I remember that one movie he was in where he was freaking a ghost, but it looked like he was just humping air. The dude who played Dresser was RIGHT ON TIME! I don't do light skinned, but I do Dresser; with that raspy voice. Talk dirty to me daddy.
Ooh, I saw Darryl Phinnesse's name in the credits to the 5 Heartbeats waaaayy at the end, but I didn't catch what it was for. Reading credits is so much fun.
Something about the melody of Mr. and Mrs. Little Ones reminds me of Before You Walk Out Of My Life by Monica. I had forgot all about that song until now.
Is Willie Nelson country or rock or both?
Just thinking and going on what I saw on THIS IS IT; that dude is so my elder. Sometimes you get stuck in that place of surreal fantasy and forget what really is. His demeanor was all like (in Cartman voice) RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY...with love.
Why is there going to be a sequel to the Alvin & The Chipmunks movie? Who in the hell saw the first one?
Listening to Rocket Love. Sometimes when I am listening to music and i feel it I make faces. I cal lit the secular music holy ghost, but the faces are more like the song just tasered me.
It's a gift to be able to amuse yourself. I walked out of the bathroom stall like I was on the catwalk or in a pop music video. I WAS FIERCE! Just a throwing my hair and showing my diva swag. There's always a music in my head. I was getting in touch with my inner Janet at the time.
I should become an actress who is well known for lip syncing in music movies. Kinda how Leon can't play nothing, but singers very well. I could use my music holy ghost/terets for good and not evil.
Ooh, I saw Darryl Phinnesse's name in the credits to the 5 Heartbeats waaaayy at the end, but I didn't catch what it was for. Reading credits is so much fun.
Something about the melody of Mr. and Mrs. Little Ones reminds me of Before You Walk Out Of My Life by Monica. I had forgot all about that song until now.
Is Willie Nelson country or rock or both?
Just thinking and going on what I saw on THIS IS IT; that dude is so my elder. Sometimes you get stuck in that place of surreal fantasy and forget what really is. His demeanor was all like (in Cartman voice) RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY...with love.
Why is there going to be a sequel to the Alvin & The Chipmunks movie? Who in the hell saw the first one?
Listening to Rocket Love. Sometimes when I am listening to music and i feel it I make faces. I cal lit the secular music holy ghost, but the faces are more like the song just tasered me.
It's a gift to be able to amuse yourself. I walked out of the bathroom stall like I was on the catwalk or in a pop music video. I WAS FIERCE! Just a throwing my hair and showing my diva swag. There's always a music in my head. I was getting in touch with my inner Janet at the time.
I should become an actress who is well known for lip syncing in music movies. Kinda how Leon can't play nothing, but singers very well. I could use my music holy ghost/terets for good and not evil.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I'm afraid I'm going to start listening to Donny Hathaway
which is the absolute wrong mood of music for me to listen to in my state.
Being Human Is Hard
It really is and those who don't recognize that are in the dark. Not aware of self, not aware of this world. With much struggle comes transformation. But for this transformation to take place you have to be lost for a while. And that is where I am now. Lost, confused, emotionally out of wack. Trying really hard to find something to fight for. Something to hold on to. It's weird, how you recognize how discombobulated you are without your glue. Michael, that's you:(
Today's voice lesson went well
In My Life is a beautiful song and I felt really good about my ability to deliver it with Monica's flare. Making a song your own, but adhering to the original composition is not as hard as I once thought. Next on the list...At Last. Donna Deussen is awesome. Such a beautiful voice! Thank you.
Thanks to those
who love me, believe in me, and encourage me. Even when I don't love, believe in, or encourage myself.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Why cant I stop listening to GO HOME by Stevie Wonder?
Why cant I stop listening to GO HOME by Stevie Wonder? Maybe I'll tackle it in my voice lessons. Need to get the correct CD's though. My ass bought CD-RW's and they won't play in my car.
Sometimes when I'm walking down Temple...
on my way to work the sun is shining directly in front of me and I close my eyes, tilt my head up, and smile. It feels so good to have that warmth on my skin. I can't keep my eyes closed for more than a couple of seconds though. I don't want to walk into anything.
Iy saddens me to see the same homeless man on the same corner every morning. I left work late last night and I saw the same homeless man standing at the same corner, about to cross the street. Reminds me that we all have routines. As his world rotates, so do we in out daily rituals of whatever.
My sweater is catching hella eyes today. A man came to my window and smiled and said nice cute/nice sweater; He didn't even look gay.
Iy saddens me to see the same homeless man on the same corner every morning. I left work late last night and I saw the same homeless man standing at the same corner, about to cross the street. Reminds me that we all have routines. As his world rotates, so do we in out daily rituals of whatever.
My sweater is catching hella eyes today. A man came to my window and smiled and said nice cute/nice sweater; He didn't even look gay.
I'm also in a saliva spitting rage over...
I saw on TV that according to the too damn young baby momma of Killa Conrad that they were on the phone for like 5 minutes and then something got his attention or something and she said this bastard said "MJ is dying." Why do you assume the worst right off the bat. What happened to AWW SHIT SOMETHING'S WRONG LET ME CALL YOU BACK! You go straight to mort?
Also, saw on TV he had to close in practice and move away from Vegas because of death threats. Tough titty. Lord willing you will never get a good nights sleep again until you are DEAD! Shout out the death threat people!
Also, saw on TV he had to close in practice and move away from Vegas because of death threats. Tough titty. Lord willing you will never get a good nights sleep again until you are DEAD! Shout out the death threat people!
Tohme Tohme Dude is going to hell
So I read some days back that some used to be advisor of Mike's is suing the estate for owed something or another then I go see THIS IS IT on Saturday and this N*gga is in the credits. Forreal! You in the credits of a posthumous movie and you suing. That means yo ass put the suit in after the fact. You going to hell. Never trust a man with the same name twice.
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