The Best Vocalist Alive Is...

Rachelle Ferrell is the best vocalist alive. I will debate this if someone gets ta set trippin! Just take a listen.

What's up with me and men from Africa? Trend of 2013

So apparently Africans have been checking for me all year, but I didn't notice it til the latter part of the summer. After reading older blog posts about my trip to Europe I saw that Dame, the happy Kenyan, tried to get at me at O'Sullivans in Paris. The African security guard at The Eiffel Tower asked me to marry him and held on to my purse for as long as he could during the security check. At the Palace of Versailles the African janitor told me he loved me. Then back here at home I picked up the Tall ass Kenyan named Issac, that thankfully I haven't seen around the hood (since he can't follow through on a date). He lives around the corner. Then comes Solomon my Nigerian BBW stalker. He straight came to my job all summer to smile at me and shake my hand. Finally exchanged info. Cool people...but he doesn't have my heart. Now my favorite Nigerian is over here rocking my world! Is this a sign that I'm not meant to be with an American? WEIRD!! #PRINCEUCHE #RULEROFZAMUNDA #SNACTHEDFROMTHEMOTHERLAND

I saw Idris Elba and caught the vapors!

I was blessed to get tickets to Jimmy Kimmel Live yesterday. The rest of this entry is typed and is to be read in the most lustful Blanche Deveraux voice one can muster.

I have been attending free tapings of TV shows in this time of underemployment. I decided to check for tickets to late night shows and I'll be! Idris Elba was gonna be a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live (which is not actually live). I clicked to sign up and get tickets from some internal yearning to be set on fire by a black gawd!

As I sat in the audience the pre-recorded show intro played and I received my last confirmation that this hunk of a man would most definitely be on the show. I took in a deep breath in anticipation of the sight of Black Adonis!

The moment came when his shadow appeared behind the blue lit door. I inhaled and butterflies shot up in my stomach. Circling and settling in my uterus in the shape of a heart. When the door opened my body jerked and my lady parts tingled. Deep within me a yearning arose from the most inner parts of my anatomy and I released a soft moan of OOOOOHHHH that I am sure the man sitting next to me heard.

His pants were so tight and I honed in on his manhood and the length of his legs and the sveltness of his torso. His long arms, broad shoulders and large commanding hands. His accent finally settled into my ears like like a Luther Vandross OOO OOOOO OOOOOO. The salt and pepper accentuating his beard, his white teeth, his purple high top converse and slightly cuffed skinny jeans. I wish I was that chocolate he was cutting into shavings during the cooking segment.

I'm jealous of Guillermo's mom, Elba...she got a hug and was his play wife for like 10 minutes.

Lord Have Mercy...I think I need to go sit out on the veranda and drink a nice refreshing glass of lemonade as these vapors are damn near impossible to relinquish. [bite curled up pointer finger in hot blooded anguish]

Spirituality vs. Religion

I am a firm believer that godly messages come in all kinds of packages. I can grow and learn and change for the better without stepping into a church. A message that the world so needs to hear comes in unexpected packages. I am a spiritual being and I don't base my love and belief in the most high on following the flock to organized religion. Religion...what is it? According to Merriam Webster it is "an organized system of beliefs, ceremonies, and rules used to worship a god or a group of gods."

Spirituality, what is it? For me it is the belief in a higher power and living in your truth. A relationship between yourself and the most high. What I don't like about religion is that organized, rules part. My relationship with God is just that...MY relationship with God and a church, pastor, deacon board, and praise team should have nothing to do with this relationship. The same way you keep your friends and family out of your romantic/personal exploits,keep riffraff out of your spiritual exploits. I see so much misinterpretation and inequity in the church and it makes me cringe. Be who God made you to be and don't let organization keep you spiritually scattered.

Am I hopeless?

I'm in a battle where the odds are against me. Wait and fight for 4-5 years and I'm still not guaranteed victory. This is disheartening. Gonna pray on it. Love? Is that you? What dictates who we fall in love with and who is just a passing fancy? When the future is unsure what do you do? I'm afraid to throw in the towel when the undercurrent of the black love connection is so strong. Am I hopeless?

Window Shopping While Black

Last week a friend and I happened to stop by a jewelry store as we were on our 4 mile fitness hike. I realized after being in the store for a couple of minutes that I was making sure to keep my hands in plain view and out of my hoodie pocket for fear of being profiled or accused of stealing. I kept my hands clasped in front of me right near my chest. Not that the lady gave any indication that she would profile or accuse me of stealing. Does anyone else find themselves changing their behavior in certain settings as not to bring unwanted prejudice your way?

7 months later...He told me that I was too strong of a woman. Maybe the 4th time is the charm

I wrote this blog entry back in June 2013 and never published it. I actually forgot about it til last month. Once I read it again I became afraid to share my feelings about failed love and self doubt, then I thought maybe someone could learn from this or feel like they are not the only ones going through relationship purgatory


I was told by a man that I was too strong of a woman...maybe you are too weak of a man. I am not going to doubt myself a moment longer. I am going to stand resolute and be exactly who God made me to be. If you cannot allow me to move in my own time you aren't the man for me. I pray for strength and that this time it holds. There is no going back to a relationship purgatory. I told him that I liked him a lot and had deep feelings for him and wanted to pursue a relationship. He needed affection like yesterday. I admitted I had some work to do in that department, but when he told me he wasn't going to make me a priority if I wasn't going to make some changes it felt like a slap in the face. It was rejection. I have never had to play second or third fiddle so I was taken aback by that. Instantly I was in defense mode. Why do you develop feelings for a person who you cannot get along with for a prolonged period of time? Is there something wrong with me? Am I angry and bitter from some past experience? From my recollection, my last relationship didn't end in drama and heartbreak so why is this so difficult for me? I wish I could reach out to my ex and ask if some of the issues I am having now were problems for him. Maybe he was better equipped to handle said issues. I don't know. It feels mighty bad to feel less than when you know you are worthy of everything under the sun.

Maybe I set myself up for failure. What hurt the most was that I really started to let my guard down. I showed vulnerability to a person outside of my family...and it wasn't enough. The changes that I made just weren't enough. Back to the drawing board. I'm so mad at myself for passing up chances with other men who didn't quite captivate my heart the way he did. Who didn't quite make me feel the way he made me feel. If I'd jumped his bones last year he'd be happy and we probably still wouldn't even be in a relationship. It's funny that today at work I went over it over and over again in my mind. How I was gonna tell him that I wanted a relationship with him and tonight we are where we are right now.

There were signs. There are always signs, but I chose to ignore them. Twice in the past couple of weeks he made it abundantly clear that I was not a woman that he would commit to no time soon. Silly of me to hold on to hope. Or was it wishful thinking. I often wonder if this was God or if it was the Devil. What is it about this man that for the past 7 months I have not been able to shake. What is it that after the January, February, and March blow ups we still somehow managed to keep this fuckery of emotions and ego going?

No one changes. You gonna be the charming insecure man you are and I am going to be the too strong not overly affectionate woman I am. There is no changing who you are at your core. But what will change is the respective people we choose to have in our romantic lives. And I bet they will be a much better match. If we are the core, they are the flesh. We were a peach pit and an orange trying to mesh...only science can bring the two together...not even the human basic need of love could keep us stitched. Our foundation was never strong in the first place.

It seemed like everything I was proud of about me he shunned. He told me I was too womanly. He told me I should "put out." He didn't like natural hair...unbeknownst to him I am natural. So now I sit here writing. Not angry. A little mad. Not crying...although I can feel the pressure of tears wanting to release from my passages. There's something about the 4th time that's different.

If I could go back in time I would wish that I were able to warm up quicker and be more affectionate. But even with all of that I am still not certain that I would be in a relationship with him today. He wouldn't be my boyfriend because we'd still have the same issues of me being too strong of a woman even if I had succumbed to the powers of nature. In this one I was going on feel. And I did not feel that the time was right. I'd act only when I felt it and not a moment sooner. It's interesting he said me not being all over him made him feel unattractive. I found that odd, because you should feel great about yourself and some woman fawning over you shouldn't make or break your self esteem. I just think it's insecurity.

He's not a bad man, maybe just not the man I'm meant to be with. Maybe God sent him along as a challenge and to get the ball rolling to work on myself.

What he wanted was affection and I move too slow. What I wanted was his time and he was always busy. This purgatory, umm umm umm. It becomes a mental holding cell. Where one day it looks promising that you'll be released and the next you sitting in between despair and loneliness.

It took 7 months. 5 of which have been rather turbulent with long bouts of us not communicating or seeing each other. For some reason this cycle has run its course. I look back and I smile at the good times we had. And I hang my head in sadness at all of the hard times. Two phenomenal people on our own, but together we are passionate, inconsistent and entitled to shit that the other person doesn't naturally give. Opposites don't attract...they more like combust. This shit just blew up. Now I need to go out and find a way to put out the fire, collect all of the shrapnel and debris, and take another chance on love.

7 months later...he told me that I was too strong of a woman. He told me I was not at the top of his list when he was at the top of mine. He said nice words, but his tone was venomous. I said harsh words and my tone was venomous. He told me that I play the victim. I didn't know that. Had never heard that. Still don't understand exactly how.

It became apparent that this shit wasn't going nowhere...and here we are. He said hit him up tomorrow. I told him I would not because I need time and space to deal with my emotions and try to wrap my mind around the fact that I want a man that I cannot have. I am not him. If we are on the phone arguing and just said that we cannot and will not pursue a relationship with each other why in the hell would I call you tomorrow to shoot the breeze? Tomorrow's conversation would be generic and dry at best. How am I to give up on loving you then call your tomorrow like ain't shit happen. Was this all in my head?

Maybe the 4th time is the charm. Love songs (good and bad) started to make a lot of sense to me in the past 5 months. I stepped outside of my norm on this one and unlike the Sanaa Lathan movie...Something New did not work out for me. It's scary for a single black woman over 30. I put myself in a position to be sad (kinda) with someone over being happy by myself. I never knew that I was deficient until I met him. But as I get ready to lie down for the night I pray that my emotions don't overtake me. Tomorrow will be a new day and another man will come...hopefully soon.

R&B Divas LA has been like therapy...Black Woman Struggles

Watching R&B Divas always made me cry or realize some deep seeded issue I have. It was comforting to know that other black women have faced some of the same issues I have faced in life. I felt a little more human, a little more normal, a little less ashamed. Life is a struggle, every day is a struggle. It gave me a little more encouragement to keep fighting. I can see a part of myself in every woman's story.

Photo Courtesy of missxpose.com

Michel'le- I have always loved her. I have older siblings so I was always up on the late 80s/early 90s R&B. My sister used to wear that curly finger waved Michel'le do. I went on a self date back in 08-09 to Stevie Wonder's House Full of Toys. It was back when I worked part time weekends for the court. So after I got off I went to the Grammy Museum, to eat at the ESPN Zone and to see me some Stevie Wonder...all by my GOT DAMN self! To my shock, Michel'le was added to the show. MANNNNNNN, let me tell you. She got chops and is so humble, but comes out like a power house when it's time to perform.

I got beats by Dre on my laptop...Now I feel some kinda way. Totally not supporting his domestic violence ass again.

Claudette Ortiz- She is the reason I am watching this show. When I heard she was going to be a member of the cast I lit up. I remembered how beautiful her voice was and how moved I was by her vocal ability. Dayum she sho is Purdy! I pray for her, she seems so hurt and being stoic is her way of seeming strong when she really isn't and I can totally relate to that.

Lil Mo- Man, I love how candid she is. I see my past when I see her go all Rah Rah. I love that she doesn't change. What you see is what you get. Her make up be strong as hell, but I guess it's a part of her allure. Her husband looks like a derelict. I guess he's nice to her because I don't see where the attraction could come from. He the black version of Linus from Charlie Brown. He just looks dingy...like he has his own personal dust cloud. Mo has an amazing voice. I just want her to transcends that hood shit and BRING IT. I wanna see he on Broadway. I can feel her energy and it's rather effervescent.

Kelly Price- I like her voice, not her. If only she would not have came on this show....sigh. Her behavior on this show was so unbecoming and the reunion was not the time or place for you to wear your SGRho pin. Do your sorors a solid, by not acting a plum damn fool on TV...just go somewhere and be dumpy and sing.

Chante Moore- I knew nothing of her personality wise and I am glad she gave us a lil sumthin to laugh about. She's very relatable and I look forward to her if there is a new season. I had forgot how technically sound she was as a vocalist. I always thought Kenny Latimore was gay too...so I therefore declare that he is...just like Wendy. LOL. Plus he loos like Skelator from He-Man.

Dawn Robinson- Dawn, oh Dawn. Man, I wanted to be you so bad when I was little. En Vogue IS the greatest female singing group of all time. Their execution and range in genre is the bestest thing I have ever heard from a group of people singing. I wish she was stronger. She needs to be fortified. Not sure if she's been this timid and discombobulated all of her life, but she sure needs to some unconditional love. She seems a little broken and misguided and I pray for her. Her voice is smooth and feminine...almost delicate like a rose petal, but with a vibrant fuchsia hue. I will continue to root for her no matter what because what she and all the other member of En Vogue did for little black girls in the 90s was a blessing. They were beautiful, talented, strong, and carried themselves with class. It's hard to come by that these days.

That R&B Divas Tour with Faith, Chante, Kelly, Keke and Brownstone...I think Im'a need to be all up in dat PIECE! If it happens...but in the mean time I am hoping for a second season. It felt good to watch black women not acting too much of a fool and really leaving the viewers with a message because of their shared stories and the shared history of the black woman. No one could ever imagine the day to day anguish to be a black woman in America. It's like we're fighting against them and out own kind everyday just to be respected.

Jesus is a love song - sung by Clark Sisters

Tell Obama I want my donations back...

and reimbursement for mileage to go work the phones for both of his presidential runs

They talk of spending our tax dollars on Syria when American citizens are losing their jobs. Myself along with 17 others got laid off from federal service with the Judiciary on Tuesday. I had been there 4 years. Others had been there for 10, 15, 23 years. More cuts are coming in March. It doesn't feel good to see America spend money helping other countries when people are suffering here. Detroit is in Bankruptcy, you don't see Suriname sending an envoy to help the city's operate. You don't see Ukraine here with military presence to curb random shooting violence.  I guess now I have to pay attention to ObamaCare.  I can't afford that shit. I'll be without health insurance by the end of October.

The cat needs her yearly vet exam and litter. I hope my birthday is ok. All of my ideas are up in the air due to #unemploymentgate. I do still have my part time gig so thank god for small favors and a severance package.

I wish I was the cat...she seems so carefree. Sleep, eat, shit...do it all again.

Question for the fellas...

Would a man who genuinely cares for a woman and respects her use the phrase "put out" when mentioning that he would like to have sex/make love to her?

Expect Nothing And Go With The Flow...

I was told to expect nothing and go with the flow. How would you respond to that statement or request?

Maybe my imagination is my enemy

I often have these romantic ideals and scenarios floating in my head and when you get here those notions go away. Maybe my imagination is my enemy. Maybe I expect the tenderness I want to give if you'd give me the emotional green light. It's something that has to be felt. No words, just sight, touch and silence.(c) Mo Groves

Have lyrics ever just POW...punched you right in the face and felt like the most accurate depiction of your current life's pickle?

"Feelings"

This is about being grown
Feelings
Being mature
Yeah
Being brave
Can you be brave?
Feelings
Listen

I'm emotional, you're emotional
Could be why we always argue our
Conversations short, we can't open up
Just become much too difficult
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to prove
This is more than me
And so much more than you
We must make it through said you and I
I can't decide

[Chorus]
I just can't decide
If it's you I want
Don't want to choose between
Having you in my life or losing you for real
'cause I've got feelings (I'll falling in love with our feelings)
Feelings
Because I've got feeling (yeah)
Feelings (I'm not afraid of the feelings babe)

I'm a stubborn girl
You're a stubborn guy
Could be why we fight all the time
If it's not your way
Then it must be mine
Can't communicate
Can't even compromise
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to prove
This is more than me
And so much more than you
Can we make it through
I can't decide

[Chorus]
I just can't decide (I can't decide)
If it's you I trust (trust babe)
Don't want to choose between (choose between)
Having you in my life
Or telling you goodbye
Because I've got feelings
Feelings (yeah)
Because I've got feelings
Feeling

We have to die alone though
Because I've got feelings
So dramatic Romantic

Oh I just can't pretend
That your just a friend
You took It futher
Passion still remains
Her we are again
Because we got feelings
Feelings
Because we got feelings
Feelings
I can't even believe were here
After all we been through

Dating...it's like a science experiment where men request asinine things from you

I don't know you. I have only seen you once. Never had a real in depth conversation with you. And you ask me to send you a picture of me? Reggin please!

How do you guys feel when a guy you just met asks you to text them a pic? How do you respond?

Dating...it's like a science experiment where the variables are emotions and logic

I have been getting my feet wet in the dating pool and have become privy to some interesting situations, observations, and WTF moments. I'll just pose a question or give a scenario and let you chime in.

Women, how would you feel is a guy referred to you as a "Joint"?

Eurotrip 2013: Conclusion

3-24-13
Airport security at Schiphol is backwards. They have all of the food before the security checkpoint so I bought water only to have to take it to the head at the check point. I am so irritated that security is right at the gate.
Birds in Europe are way too vocal. Especially them sea gulls. Birds in Amsterdam also work together. I saw pigeons, sea gulls, ducks, and some other kind of bird all co-mingling. Maybe it’s the weather. I’m not getting gel nails again. I’m not impressed AND it hasn’t been a full 2 weeks and I have a couple of chips.

Eurotrip 2013: Last day in Amsterdam

3-23-13
OMG Amsterdam is breaking me down with this cold. Went to the Anne Frank House today. Sad what happened to them. That shit was depressing. Went to the Red Light District. It was not as grand as I thought it would be. It’s pretty much alleys and gang ways with red lights. I felt uncomfy looking at the women through their windows or glass doors. The chicks all looked decent and petite. I saw one guy negotiating the price. I saw another guy leaving as we were passing and the waft of air that came with him smelled like condom friction. The third guy: I saw him come out all red in the face and smiling quite happily. As a woman I didn’t feel right being there. I felt bad for them…even if they don’t feel bad for themselves. I just hope they are all doing it of their own free will.
I am in love with French fries and mayo…WEIRD! Went to the I Amsterdam sign. It is impossible to take a picture of it without other people being in it. A lot of English speakers and people from the US are here. Everyone was been nice. Someone on the tram was playing Dirty Diana. Got my jam on for a sec.
I also saw an old advertisement for some Paradisco place w/ Run DMC on It and the background was made up of Prince’s Controversy and MJ Off the Wall album covers. Still a lot of black people out here and I passed by a salon that did black hair. I said Salon and Afrique on the sign so I took that as meaning blacks folks hair. I saw a beauty supply too. I saw a whole bunch of other stuff I wasn’t interested in. I won’t come back to Amsterdam if it’s not summer time. I think people freedom to smoke marijuana is cool. It’s interesting to see it in effect here and see how people are fighting for the right to do it in America. People play with nasty ass pigeons in Amsterdam ( and Paris too).
Had lunch at a place called La Place. Great concept. It’s a smorgasbord with steak, burgers, salads, desserts, fresh smoothies and juices, pasta, and the list goes on. It’s cafeteria style and let me tell you…it’s chaotic, but GREAT! I never expected to like the food here so much and the people here are so nice and helpful. I can now pronounce Hobbermasteraat! I found 2 Euro on the ground. So glad 1 and 2 euros come in coins. You can really come up on finding change in Europe.



This is my last night in Europe and I am spending it in the hotel. Too damn cold=not motivated to leave unless fries and fancy mayo are involved. Man, I’m gonna miss the frites here. I’m glad the group that came to Amsterdam was so cool. We kept having to check for Steve. He moved slow and always needed to sit down. Flaviano said “Don’t die Steve, run away from the light.” I was rollin!!!! There really isn’t much to do here so we got in everything in one day. A lot of people here wear shiny puffy coats. I hate them. Looks plastic and cheap. I still find it weird to see so many young people smoking cigarettes. Bikes are everywhere. Some bikes look like they have rusted to whatever pole or fence they are affixed to. I’m so tired of seeing McDonald’s, KFC, Burger King, Starbucks, and Subway across Europe. There’s one on every other corner. There’s an Aldi up the street from my hotel in Amsterdam. I would have never thought Aldi was outside of the US.
I am starting to get sick. My throat is feeling sore…just what I need.

Eurotrip 2013: Paris to Amsterdam

Last couple of hours in Paris and I’m kinda bummed. Man, the roommate was taking an epic shower this morning. I was sitting around waiting for her to come out so I could wash my face and brush my teeth. I tried to go downstairs to the public restroom, but it was being cleaned. So had to go back to the room and wait, which delayed me going to breakfast. When I finally did get in there she removed her card from the light access device w/o saying anything and left me in the dark. How Rude!


What I learned on this trip: Australians are fuckin awesome, tap water in Europe tastes better than tap water in Cali, and Africans be checkin for me. Now for the train ride across Europe…


Amsterdam is cold as hell! Man, shiiiiiittt! And the #7 tram was like 40 minutes late. I became a pony. I had some bomb ribs and fries with special mayo at Café De Pijp and my life is forever changed. If only I could get that mayo recipe together. Gotta get me some more fries. My little Amsterdam group is cool. I’m on my last leg though. My left knee is killing me. There are lots of black people in Amsterdam. I am surprised. Our hotel room looks kewl. Dark wood makes lotsa things look fancier. The Heineken museum was fun. I need some socks. A noticeable amount of people whose ancestors are from the land of the rising sun are around here. Amsterdam looks like Jersey City outside of the tourist drag.


Saw a black dude on the corner peeing. His back was turned to traffic, but he was still at a busy intersection. Our hotels are always hood adjacent (except for London). The bartender was jamming MJ in the hotel bar. BAD, IJCSLY, TWYMMF, Blood on the dance floor, Smooth Criminal, YANA, and Earth Song. I am sure he was still in the MJ zone when we left. Gotta get me some more fries.

Eurotrip 2013: Last day in Paris

3-21-13
Took a nap and back at it again. Didn’t eat breakfast…ran out of time. Started off with Musee Rodin. Saw The Thinker…meh. The the rest of my group headed to see Princess Di and Dodi’s memorial. I finally bought stamps and mailed those postcards from London. We then went to the Arc Di Triomphe. It was cool in the day time, but the flag wasn’t hanging in the middle. From there we had lunch as Vesuvius Italian Restaurant on the Champs Elysees. Ran out of time to go to Sacre Coeur. Went into the Virgin megastore and saw Prince and MJ albums. We went to Versailles. It’s massive. I bet those King Louis (insert roman numeral here) stunk. The hall of mirrors is impressive. I bet that palace ran like a soap opera. Louis XVI loved his wife. All the rest were adulterers. Louis XIV seemed difficult with that long ugly wig. Didn’t know he started so young. Crowned at 5 and lived til he was 77. They ran the country, had kids, and got married super young…at like 15 yrs old. The garden is breathtaking. I can only imagine its beauty in the summer. It’s the epitome of grandiose.


Went to dinner at La Mere Catherine. Had French onion soup and duck a l’orange. Bought a bottle of Rose wine and got souvenirs. We walked up the stairs to the Basilica and Sacre Coeur. Talkin bout hurting. I felt it all over. Had to stop and rest 3 times. The view is gorgeous at night. Earlier when I went to the bathroom at Versailles the janitor looked up at me and said “I love you.” I seem to attract lotsa African men and that John C Reilly looking man in London. Im so tired. I think I might look for a massage in Amsterdam. I’m so sad my trip is coming to a close in 2 days.

Eurotrip 2013: Kickin it in Paris

3-20-16
What an amazing day. I started off with the Louvre. Saw the Mona Lisa, Winged Victory and Venus De Milo. Beautiful! I see how people can spend hours on end there. Just in the Denon wing the paintings are so vivid and the depth of field and action are breathtaking. I took photos of the inverted pyramid meeting the chalice. KNEEL BEFORE HER, SHE LIES BENEATH THE ROSE!!!! Gosh, it made me tear up. They have army/special service troops who patrol the streets with semi-automatic rifles. SCARY



Next we visited the bridge of love where couples sign locks and then affix them to the bridge and throw the key into the Seine to signify undying love. I didn’t buy a lock. It’s just me. I’m single. Stop three was Notre Dame. I liked the architecture of this church more than Westminster Abbey. It was darker and colder. Apparently the church is celebrating 850 years. We are lunch at some restaurant right next to Notre Dame. I had a croque monsieur (ham sandwich) and hot wine. THE WINE IS THE SHIT! It’s a red wine with oranges in it. Reminds me of sangria. I will definitely try it again. Next we went to the Pantheon. Really cool piece of architecture in the heart of the universities . There were a lot of young people out and about. We walked to Saint Sulpice next. I stopped and got some macaroons. Delicious! I had one caramel and one praline from Dalloyau. We walked across the Luxembourg Gardens on our way there. It has to be breathtaking in the summer. The green spaces/parks/gardens in Europe are so nice. Saint Sulpice was nice and dark. Reminds me of gothic stuff. I saw some of the line, but not the gold arago line. After that we went back to the meet up point at musee d’orsay. I took a short reprieve at the hotel then went out to see MLK Park. Nothing to write home. It looks like a soggy, cold mess.


Went to Sacre Coeur for dinner. I tried escargot. It’s sort of chewy w/ garlic and butter seasoning. Had pizza with a raw, half cooked egg on top. The waiter was cute. A band set up and started playing Parisian jazz. Got lost on those winding dark cobble stoned streets trying to find the Moulin Rouge/O’Sullivans to meet the group.

As soon as we walked in they were playing American rap! YAY! Some dude who looks like Mr. Bean danced with me. He had rhythm, but every time he brought me near it seemed like he was going to head butt me. I had a ball kicking it with Sara, Kim, Nicole and Taylor. Took a blow job shot. HILARIOUS! I’m getting sleepy and am ready to eat. They played Snoop and Pac songs. I forgot I was in France. It’s funny seeing French white people dance to damn near hardcore Hip Hop. Apparently 1:30am is when the black dudes come to the lounge. O’Sullivans is cool. The DJ has potential, but he keeps playing Jersey Shore-like songs. He played Every Little Thing I Do by Soul 4 Real and Who Do You Love by LL.
Somebody up in here is musty as an ox. Oh shit, they played Pony by Ginuwine and now its 2:15am they are playing Niggas in Paris. I really can’t dignify that song too much. I was looking at the white folks lips and waiting on them to say the N word. Danced with some black dude named Dame (Dim). He was skinny as a bean pole and black black. Beautiful skin! His skin tone reminds me of Acerola from City of Men. We exchanged info. He was very gentle and affectionate. I kissed an African!!! He had soft lips. He is a happy dancer and everything isn’t a bump and grind. We had a major language barrier, but it’ll be fun to get to know someone from another country. He knew all of the lyrics to the English raps sons the DJ played though. If only we could communicate in rap lyrics. LOL.
CabGATE 2013: Nobody knew the address to the hotel, but luckily I had my vouchers with the info on it. I have the info the driver and blonde contiki group chick in the front and it got left in the cab. I was livid! But all is well. The vouchers are not needed to continue the trip. The other two cabs of people got lost because they didn’t have the address.

Eurotrip 2013: From London to Paris

3-19-13
Saw the White Cliffs of Dover. Bought myself a fancy lunch on the ferry boat. The presentation was nice, but everything needed more seasoning. I ordered the salmon appetizer. When I got it, it was raw salmon! I just forced myself to eat some of it. Couldn’t send it back. The English Channel is huge. We docked in Calais. YAY, they drive on the right side of the road in France! We rode through the WWI or WWII battlefields in Northern France. We did a rest stop so I finally stepped foot on French soil. I saw black people at the rest stop. Some boy had cornrows like it was 2001. The 1st thing I bought in France was an Orangina.



The Eiffel Tower was amazing. I was in disbelief. It seemed so impossible to make it here. I teared up twice. Took lotsa pictures. It was windy up there. They also had a bar up there, but who is gonna buy suspensive ass champagne in a plastic flute? We had so much time up there I got bored. I feel so blessed. I am so proud of myself for achieving this.



The train system is confusing. I need a better train map. Evan, Sara and I went walking to find something to eat after we got back to the hotel…the 17th arrondissement is grimy. It feels like some dangerous NYC borough. Saw a tranny hooking it in front of a fresh fruit stand. I named it Stephanie. I was wondering why that lady was standing out in the rain. I figured she was waiting on a ride since she was on her cell. But when we got close we heard the deep voice and were like YIKES! I like her lace front though. Not many women were out. Lotsa men…African and Middle Eastern, hence I was trying to get my womanly ass into the hotel ASAP. Don’t want no oppression and sexism over here!
We are staying in a construction zone. There is building debris leading up to our hotel. It looked like he Soviet Union circa 1992. I am roomed with Tia. She is easy going. The one thing I noticed about Paris…It’s Dirty Outside of the Touristy drag. Traffic here is heavy. The African security guard at the Eiffel Tower asked me to marry him. He was checking my purse then just held on to it. He wasn’t even handsome and he was old enough to be my dad. People ride moped/motor cycles a lot here. Reminds me of Blade Runner.
My attempts to speak French have been horrible. I asked a lady “je parle angalis”…WRONG! Tried to tell the cafeteria lady I was in room “deux cent sept”…WRONG! Just hope to not have to talk to people much. A lot of restaurants sell pizza here.

Eurotrip 2013: London Day 3

3-18-13
What a day, what a day once more. Started off the day with Trafalgar Square then Big Ben and Westminster Abbey. Saw Isaac Newton’s tomb. Saw Charles Darwin, Frederick Handel and Lord Byron’s tombs as well. I have no clue what Lord Byron did, but for some reason I am aware of him. I know I’m forgetting some more dead people. It was gorgeous. OH THE FLYING BUTTRESSES! It was nice seeing where all of the royal stuff happens. Saw one tomb dedicated to the soldiers lost in the war in South Africa. They wouldn’t have been in South Africa if they weren’t there trying to colonialize it. You don’t expect people to fight back?



Saw the ornate tombs of Bloody Mary and Queen Elizabeth. It’s funny that Elizabeth is buried a top Mary and the tomb doesn’t mention or bare the likeness of Mary at all. Mary, Queen of Scots is across the way. I found myself walking as to avoid stepping on the gravestones, Geoffrey Chaucer is buried there too. There is even a place dedicated to FDR. Shakespeare has a tribute tomb although he is not buried there.


Steven paid for me to get into the Tower of London. SCORE! It was cool to see the Crown Jewels. The Beefeaters are so cool and down to earth. I don’t see how people ran around the tower grounds in an emergency. The stairs are narrow and spiral. They were also running around in the dark…cause all they had were candles. If you fell and dropped your candle it’s OVER! Buckingham Palace didn’t have a changing of the guard, but the guards did move. They wore grey uniforms. I wonder how heavy those hats are. Had to traverse the city in the rain again. I didn’t get a chance to go to Harrods and Camden Market. My last stop was the British Museum. The Egyptian Exhibit was amazing. I ran out of time to see the social cloths of the East African Tribes w/the MJ Cloth. London is really cool. Reminds me of DC or NYC.


Had an ordeal trying to go see Mamma Mia. Was on the elevator and realized I left my umbrella. Went back up to get it. When I got to the lobby the group was gone so I went outside. The Contiki bus wasn’t outside so I went back in. I asked the porter and he said they had just left, but took the double decker bus. I was probably looking right past them all on the bus stop because I was looking for the Contiki bus. So the porter instructed me to take any bus towards aldwych and walk towards the royal court of justice. I walked 20 min past the royal court… in the wrong direction. I doubled back and went in the only other direction one could go by the royal court. I found it! I was about 15 minutes late for the show, but the staff was unbelievably courteous. I didn’t have a ticket, nothing but my word and they still seated me. I have never been treated so nicely when running late for an event.

The musical was MEH. I fell asleep twice. Went to some placed called Roadhouse where a band sings rock and roll and top 40 and singers enter a karaoke-like contest. They were all professionals except for one guy. The band was amazing. Had some drinks and danced. Gave the sister bathroom attendant my last 2 pounds and rolled back to the pad with the Philly girls. They are cool. I hate that they smoke though. It is so weird to see young people smoke. I see It as a vice of older generations. Now I’m watching World’s Best /Worst Police Videos. Yes… they syndicate this show in the UK. Makes Americans looks bad.

This Europe House Music shit is irritating. Does it only appeal to nationalities that lack melanin? Everybody else loved it. I’ve come to realize…IM TOO BLACK FOR THIS SHIT!
I don’t like how people of color over here have all of the menial jobs. Middle Eastern men work in food service and black women were the bathroom attendants at both clubs I went to. Kinda sad I couldn’t make any real connections with black people over here. I saw a black hair salon and an Aldi on the outskirts of London. The white men are tall as hell! They sounded like Daphne’s brother Simon (Frasier) and some of them really look different from white people in the US, features-wise. Bye London!

Eurtrip 2012: London Part II

3-17-13
To quote Erykah Badu…what a day, what a day. We went to Stonehenge! On our way there is snowed!!!!! The British countryside is beautiful. I saw some big ass biscuits at the concession stand. Ends up it was a cheddar scone. It was ok. I also saw sheep grazing on the fields/hills near Stonehenge. AWESOME!!!

We then went to Bath. Originally I didn’t want to go, but unfortunately if you got on the bus this morning you had to go to both. I just decided to pay to enter the baths since I was already in town. It was cool. Saw some duckies swimming and bathing in the hot bath.
Tasted some of the clean hot spring water. It tasted coppery and it was warm. Glad I went. The bus ride back to London was long as hell. I Had to pee in that shoebox of a bathroom on the bus. I fell onto the toilet so I had no choice but to sit on it. I hit my head on the door. The water was cold. There was no soap or paper towels.

Had my big dinner at Old Amalfi Italian Restaurant right across from the hotel. Went with Caroleana, Kim and Sara. Had a ball! I ate fettuccini w/ broccoli and Italian sausage, white wine, prosecco, and limoncello. Limoncello is SKRONG! I also had tiramisu for dessert. Delicious!
On our way back across the street saw Jesse, Juan, Vanessa, Kristen, Patricia, and the Philly Girls on their way out so Caroleana and I joined them. Paid 10 pounds to get into Zoo. It was cool for about 1 ½ hours. That Jersey Shore music got on my last damn nerve. I had an amaretto, disarrono and coke=NICE! So glad I asked the middle eastern dude with the pretty smile what he was having. I wanted a St. Patrick’s Day hat…didn’t know where everyone else got theirs from. Found the Reggaeton/Top 40 room too little too late. I had already checked out. Nothing short of Too Short or Luke was gonna bring me back. An Argentinian rugby team came in. They were so adorable and friendly. Reminded me of Bud Bundy with the 1987 hair cuts and clothes. I wish there were more black people. There was a masseuse in the club. MAN, that dude got the magic touch from what I saw. I was like HEY MR. NIGERIAN MAN!! He know he could move his hands with expert sensual prowess. And now I’m back in my room. Gotta make sure I buy some drank for my flask tomorrow.

Eurotrip 2013: LONDON

3-16-13
Day 1 was cool. Met some cool chicks from Philly, Miami, and Houston. I don’t like how the service industry is all people of color. Specifically it’s all Middle Eastern men. Went to Leicester Square in the pouring rain. I was drenched from the knees down….I had a small umbrella. It was jumpin’. UK chicks had on club clothes. Maybe they were going to the club? Maybe they were coming from a West End show? It was so nice seeing black people, but they were all club/pub promoters tryna get us into clubs and pubs for a fee.

Now I’m sitting in my room in my panties eating cheez-its. Kinda bummed I didn’t set a chance to go to Jazz café. I got a room all to myself. YAY! London reminds me of New York. Hopefully the excursion to Stonehenge is super fun. One promoter in Leicester Square was asking us where we're from. Vanessa claimed Columbia, Patricia claimed Mexico, When I said the U.S. he yelled “Michelle Obama!” That was soooo kewl! When he meets a black woman from the U.S. he instantly thinks of Michelle Obama.

We also met a German/Polish drunken dude who loved Latina women. He was entertaining and also a pest to Patricia. Why was there a long ass line at Haagen-Dazs In the rainy, drizzly weather?! I called it Club Haagen-Dazs. The line was so long it stretched outside.

Eurotrip 2013: Goin Places

10 hr and 5 min flight to London. It’s cool being on a big plane with 3 rows of seats like I see on TV. There is no one sitting in the middle seat so me and old dude got extra elbow room. This trip has me nervous. I made extra sure to tell everyone that I loved them before I took off. I hope this “hot” dinner tastes good. I made sure to eat in the terminal in case the plane food tastes like a vito lunch from STL Public Schools circa 1989.