Remember My Name...my message going into 2015

Beautiful lyrics by the Maestro, Dionne Farris

They Came...

They came with the bible and took the land

They came with Christ and dehumanized the black man

The light being the white man and the black man being an uncivilized animal

The anglo Saxons… Hannibal

Give them your white god

The natives are down trod..den

They came trying to be the saviors for people who didn’t need saving

They came with promises of riches

But the gotten goods came at a price…freedom

They came and thought there would be an easy  gains

World War I World War II Cold War

Now the people are torn…apart

Nationalism stalled out

From Europe to Asia

Other people keep coming in and capitalizing on the land and the people

They came

They keep coming

But when will we keep them out?

Mo Groves (c)

Not So United States of Fallacy

There was a time when someone would ask me how I was doing and my reply would be
"I can't complain." Today I can't truthfully say that. As is the cycle of my adult life, I have suffered a career setback, am kinda, but not in a relationship, stress eating, and the rent is increasing.

Separately these may not seem like a big deal, but it seems that things are compounding and I want nothing more than to catch a break. Why can't I have the career I want, be in a loving, healthy relationship, and be solvent. I long for the years between 2002-2006 when life seemed promising.

That's the fallacy of the American Dream. When you are fresh out of college your future looks bright. 10 years later I am just trying to get by. I put on a brave face, but it's hard.

Dealing with life's setbacks is a skill that it takes time to handle. No one ever masters it. Works in progress in a recession, oppression ridden Not So United States of Fallacy.

We Are Dying

We Are dying

We Are dying

And there is nothing we can do about it til we march

Til we unify

Til we self-love

Blood trickling into the sewers

Blood flowing down the gutters

Blood spewing from every expression of self-hate

Blood

Blood is what we spill

Blood is what we are

Unify brothers and sisters

From every aspect of the African diaspora

Come together in rage, in peace, in strength, in solidarity, in triumph, in victory

Lay down your skinny jeans

Lay down your delusional sense of equality

Lay down your name brand clothes and fancy cars

Lay down your generational separation from the struggle and know

That it never ended. We struggle now, but are too busy trying to kumbaya to see

 For they are the trappings and the preoccupation of an idle people

Lay down your doubt

Lay down your fear

Lay down your complacency and a RISE
For the oppressed won’t be oppressed for long

Black Power! Black Power! Black Power!

Love thy self

Covet thyself

Embrace thyself

Kiss thyself

Beeee thyself

For when the time comes to rise up and fight we will know

We will know by the fire

The fire in the eyes of our people

The time has come

The meek shall inherit the earth

And that time is NOW!

(c) Mo Groves

No Indictment=No Justice=No Love For The DNA From Which All Humanity Came

In a society where not all people are held to the same letter of the law, it hurts my soul. If I killed someone I would be in jail until they figured things out. I would go to trial. As an everyday citizen, I do not have the same rights as police enforcement. As a person of African descent I do not have the same rights, peace of mind, and opportunity as my white counterparts.

Every person who kills another should be handled in the same way and this is a great example of the luxury Darren Wilson was given. If it was a black man there is no way he would have been allowed to chill at home and get married while waiting for murder charges to be handed down.

As much as I wanted things to turn out in our favor, I know our history and I know that the sad fact is that the system is not set up to give us equality. It’s hard to believe in a justice system that rarely if ever gives justice to black people. The deep seeded hatred of whites towards blacks is an oddity that sometimes makes me think is it something demonic and genetic. We are always expected to be peaceful, turn the other cheek, and believe in humanity… when humanity has turned against us.

I fear for my nephews, I fear for my brother, I fear for the man I love in a society where black men are vilified, ignored, and murdered in cold blood and there is no recourse. An oppressed population can only stay peaceful for so long.

No Indictment=No Justice=No Love For The DNA From Which All Humanity Came

Mike Brown's living was not in vain. He is a catalyst for change.

Is It Possible to Find a Black Man Over 30 With No Kids?

I just feel it's really unfair. I have been responsible and not got knocked up. Why is it so hard to find a black man with no kids? The guys I do find with "no kids" are running away from commitment and playing games.

I'm rather apprehensive about having to be motherly towards someone's child. Chime in, what has been your experience with dating men with a child or two?

Tonight's Lesson: Belief vs. Trust

Tonight I was told that he believed in me, but didn't trust me. It shook me. Sucker punch to my emotions. Then I had to really research what belief was and what trust was. Found this beautiful poem that really illustrated the difference for me. I guess I don't trust him yet either.

Belief is Doubtful, Trust is Certain
Belief is from Mind, Trust is from Heart
Belief is Lip Service; Trust is Heart Felt
Believe many; Trust only a Few
Believing is Easy, Trusting is Hard
Belief scores 50%, Trust scores 100%
Belief is Ordinary; Trust is Extra-ordinary
Belief is Start point; Trust is End Point
Belief is Limited; Trust is infinite
Belief is Shaking Hands, Trust is Embracing
Belief keeps Control; Trust gives up control
Belief is jumping opportunities; Trust is staying
Belief is not Time Tested; Trust passes Tough Times
Belief is Partial; Trust is Complete
Believe in Thoughts; Trust your Intuition
Belief in God is Attempting; Trust in God is Surrender
Belief is Important; Trust is Essential
Belief is Plastic Rose; Trust is Real Rose

(23-June-2010, Chennai) 
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/0978-belief-vs-trust/

What is Reproductive Health to Black Women on the Generation X-Generation Y Cusp?

Black women born between 1975 and 1982 represent a special niche in the 18 to 49 coveted age group. They are stuck in between two eras; a time of black power and unity and a time of me, me, me and a feeling of entitlement.

As a black woman on the Generation X-Generation Y Cusp, the first thing that comes to mind when I think of Reproductive Health is Freedom. Freedom to choose. Freedom to abort. Freedom to give birth. Freedom to say yes. Freedom to say no. Freedom to be the master of my own body without a man, white man, or slew of politicians who do not know me or my situation to dictate what I can do with my body. 

That Freedom allows me to have children when I am ready. I cringe when I think of the millions of women who came before me and the millions who shall come after me who could not (for whatever reason) control when they had children. In this sexist society a woman is made to sacrifice her dreams and aspirations while the man can skip out and follow his dreams and society doesn’t even bat an eye. When women do the same they are seen as a monster.  Women lack the freedom and societal acceptance of their male counterparts.

Freedom, an inalienable right that has been kept from generations of women.  A right that is still at risk in the 21^st century.

If you are a black woman on the Generation X-Generation Y Cusp, what is reproductive freedom to you?

Respect the Creator: How to Take Charge of Our Reproductive Health

Sexual and reproductive health issues concern the black community because a woman’s womb is the foundation of every community.  The womb is the source of life. Without the source being protected and nurtured the community shall come undone. To not love one’s creator, mother, sister, daughter, grandmother is to not love one’s self.  From the womb came civilization.

We have been conditioned by a misogynistic society that holds on to ideals that are out of place in the 21^st Century.  Because of this we face challenges when it comes to health care options, access to contraceptives, and pre and post-natal care. We have to become the captains of our own ships as they are the vessels from which life springs forth. To remedy the injustice of our situation we must:

1. Educate ourselves. This information may not be readily available so we have to seek it.
2. Share the knowledge. Take what has been learned back to our families and friends.  The sharing of this information allows us to find like-minded people with whom we can work with to create an agenda.
3. Engage with doctors. Express needs, concerns, and ideas about our health care practitioners.  This can also be an opportunity to gain an ally.
4. Find a forum.  The proper forum to share an agenda can be town hall meetings, public meetings, and networking events with healthcare professionals and community advocates.

Regroup and repeat.

Have We Lost Our Culture?

As I follow brother Runoko Rashidi on Facebook I saw a post of his that read..."Never Lose Your Culture." My question to you is, have we as African Americans lost our culture? Did we ever have one? If so what is it?

There are times when my people are so pro black that they put down things that by choice or force are a part of the African American experience. I have seen people put down the eating of soul food saying..."that's slave food." Shit, I like soul food. I am not ashamed of it. By necessity slaves ate the leftovers or items not deemed edible by whites, but they made it delicious. It's a skill to make the best of what you have, to innovate and create.

I see young people (early 30's and under) in LA who have grown up in a fake racially homogenized utopia and they are unaware of their blackness. They are not proud of their blackness. They do not embrace their blackness. They are ignorant of their blackness. So they don't reflect their ancestors in their everyday lives. I find that the 2,000 plus miles between the Midwest and West Coast keeps the movement slow and abated here at times. What is it that keeps them blind? Easy, their parents and grandparents don't pass down the history, the struggle, the victories, therefore kids are shocked when some non-black person overtly treats them less than. All along thinking they were equal when they were just being pacified with material things and pretty weather.

I personally think our culture has evolved into us trying to reconnect the Africa. We are an uprooted people without a complete history and direct line to the land of our ancestors. I know I personally hope for a meaningful connection to my brothers and sisters in Africa.  However I do recognize how our African brothers and sisters who have come to America and mimic the materialistic (money, clothes and hos) part of what we do and don't know African American history. There lies the disconnect. Do they know, understand, and respect our struggle? Do they understand and recognize the psychological stigma, oppression and behaviors that have been passed down from generation to generation as a means of survival? Do they judge our culture for what they don't fully understand?

So, what is our culture?
Soul Food?
Blues, R& B and Rock and Roll Music?
Vernacular?
Story Telling?
Hair Styles?

Have we lost our culture?

Does Black Female Privilege Exist?

I read an article on The Root by  Diana Ozemebhoya Eromosele about "Black Female Privilege." I'd never thought that I had privilege over my black male counterpart. It made me think and realize that I do have privilege that black men do not have.  A couple of days ago a Nigerian friend of mine pointed out that women in the US have more job opportunities than men in the US. He had a very valid point, in my past two jobs the workforce was overwhelmingly female.

I recognize that the white world view black men as more of a threat than black women. I am less likely to be harassed or profiled by police based on my outer trappings (clothes, car, hair, etc.) thus allows me to traverse the white world with a little bit more ease.

Chime in. In what ways do you recognize your Black Female Privilege?

Scared little black girl stuck in a woman's body. Don't you realize you're hurting yourself?

These days it's all about the ass and twerking and other nonsensical jibber jabber. It hurts my heart. It gives me great unease to see black women objectified, but the new chasm in my life is the fact that sistas are objectifying themselves. I peruse through photos that my instagram followers have liked and all I see is ASS ASS ASS ASS. Chicks just putting it all out there for non-factor ass people who lurk on their pages to give them cyber validation. I wonder, how do they see themselves. Are they proud, independent, hard-working, god-fearing, soft spoken, super diva, around the way girl type women? Or are they a scared little black girl stuck in a woman's body looking for love in all the wrong places? Do you realize you're hurting yourself. 

You may say...it's more than black women posting provocative photos on instagram, but let me clarify my position. My focus, my interest, my passion, my pride, my love is for MY PEOPLE. Now...

Who are the people who double tap photos of women in thongs with their asses perched on bathroom countertops? Who are the people who people who comment "Bad Bitch" like that's a badge of honor? Who are the people who comment in every conceivable disrespectful word, phrase, and emoji?

Bottom feeders, horny cyber dwellers, lost souls who don't have a sense of pride or respect for themselves so how in the hell can they respect and empower the chick who is looking for love in all the wrong places? It's the blind egging on the blind. The lost sending pinpoints to the lost. It's a cycle of ignorance that has always been here...it's just easier to see in this age of technology.

Scared little black girl stuck in a woman's body, you are beautiful, you are special, you are intelligent, you are worthy, you are loved because God made you so. Put your efforts into respecting yourself and not seeking attention from men who are not mature enough to respect themselves.

To quote whoever in the hell RuPaul got this from..."If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"

What Shall I Do?

If you long long enough
If you are patient and kind
If you put your heart on the line
If you go along sometimes in uncertainty
If you make yourself the person they want you to be
Will you find love
If I don't...what shall I do?
What shall I do if I think I am ready for love, but I am not.
What shall I do if it doesn't work out
What shall I do?

-A Black Girl's Blues

Don't date just to have shit to do...date with a purpose

I date to find someone compatible. Someone who enhances my life. Someone fun. Someone intelligent. Someone I would want a future with. After 1-2 dates I know if this is someone I'd like to spend more time with. Dating just to have shit to do could lead to the other person feeling like they have a chance when you know good and damn well they don't. If I have learned anything in the past two years, it's that actions don't necessarily dictate intention. Do you date just for shits and giggles? If so, Why?

Seasons

Thought I found something so real. So sticky sweet and the most organic connection yet. Shit just got real and I gambled and lost. Everything has its season and that was last winter.

I am very happy that I am in a new season; Spring. The sun feels good on my skin. The air is crisp yet laden with the slightest dew. I am hopeful that the seeds that are currently being planted are going to bloom into the most beautiful extension of two life forms. Something blessed by Gaia...something blessed by God.

He beams like sunshine. I call him two scoops. If he is the sun then I am the rain.

I've loved and lost

For the first time I truly opened up to receive love and I lost. I held hope when the odds were against us and I lost. With each passing week that hope dwindled, but not my love for you. I have professed my love and my prayers for your happiness and prosperity for you are a great man. And now I sit, stuffy nosed and red eyed after sobbing aloud. I lost. In the words of the late Amy Winehouse, "Love is a losing game."

Sometimes I can't find the words or if I find them I can't corral them into a cohesive bunch to convey an emotion, but I find that in my time of wordlessness these songs will suffice...To let you better know, why this black girl has the blues.