I was about to scalp a bitch on the bus

My 2nd worst experience on the commuter bus. A lady asked to sit with me and I was like fine. I’ll be damned! She was bigger than I thought. Her ass just came down on me and we are sitting hip to hip. I don’t know her! I don’t want to touch her! Then she gets a blue smurf blanket out. Getting chiggers all over the place off that thing. THEN the bitch goes to sleep and starts leaning in my direction. Leaning so tough I could smell her hair. Smelling like air dried wet dog. Oh Lord! I want to scalp her! The she sat up and disturbed the atmosphere with the blue blanket and now I’m getting funky pissy whiffs of the pestilence breeding in the fibers. Palmdale can’t get here fast enough.